Lie Behind My Smile ft. Soy Is Real Lyrics

Wonder how I stay so proud?

The story lie behind my smile (Lie behind my smile)

Ball of energy when I am around

But The story lie behind my smile (Lie behind my smile)

They always thought I was a happy child

The story lie behind my smile (Lie behind my smile)

Prolly shouldn't, but I'm here somehow

The story lie behind my smile (Lie behind my smile)

Seven year old without a hero

But my brother there to help me through the pain

Tough love was necessary

'Cuz 8th Street shit was pretty scary

But at home, the threat level the same

Mom's mad and my dad angry again.

They had a tendency to do that.

Doubled up jeans, but he knew that

Had to lay down on the floor while he knew that shit was wrong

Told us take them pants off started whippin' a storm

Well aight

Maybe I deserved a lash or two

'Cuz I was hyper as fuck seekin' attention w/ an attitude

But tell me,

How could one explain bein' locked up in a closet tied up

Told to eat some rat poison if the food ain't enough

Loud voices reverberate

House full of yellin' on a daily I lay awake

'Til I head to cousin' crib

Then I hear, "Do you even have a home to stay at"

God damn I never win

Wonder how I stay so proud?

The story lie behind my smile (Lie behind my smile)

Ball of energy when I am around

But The story lie behind my smile (Lie behind my smile)

They always thought I was a happy child

The story lie behind my smile (Lie behind my smile)

Prolly shouldn't, but I'm here somehow

The story lie behind my smile (Lie behind my)

Okay

Maybe I could find some respite in class

But I got flashed on for wearin' blue

While I was walkin' alone

2nd grade didn't know what to do

But age don't mean shit when you're crossin' a crew

Lookin' for any reason to lash

Proceed to react

I instantly dashed and ended up right back at the spot

But same shit different day

6 years later, no change

Except for the domestic abuse

That's real shit

Dad's gone

Mom's suicidal

And so was I but I ain't have time to be a child though

Can you imagine what it's like to hide the sharp items

At 13 cuz you afraid for your mom's survival

A year later seen a dude shot dead in the lot

Of high school, headshot, bro dead on the spot

Then I hit a quinceanera couple weeks later

Live shooter poppin' off outside

Had to duck under tables, here he comes gunpoint at the roof

Locked down 'til the cops come through

Had to tell my boy chill, don't attack, he drunk

And if he shoot in our direction then we'll all be fucked

Laugh it off a day later… a day in the life

Had to suppress it like the gun the cop used when he took dude's life

Sayin', "That's just how it is", Talk about your biz, then you weak

And I ain't never that, no sir

I held it in so long, I thought I'd get an ulcer

So shit I had to perform to never show emotion

Rappin' and Singin', Youtubing was my only way out

And people wonder why I'm goofy all the time

I laugh cuz I'm sad and now I realize that shit makes sense

That's the only way I knew how to cope

Thank God I had an outlet, but homies that I grew up close to

Ended up back on the streets slangin' coke

Or undiagnosed

If we had some help

Normalizin' talkin' bout all of our mental health

'Cuz even now I'm fightin' tears writin' bout it

Like I'm doin' something wrong

But I know I'm programmed to never put it to song

And my hope

Is that we gain some understandin'

That you are not alone and I am here for you my plan is

To make the thought of supressin' your feelin's outlandish

Then maybe we could all be better off before we vanish

Wonder how I stay so proud?

The story lie behind my smile (Lie behind my smile)

Ball of energy when I am around

But The story lie behind my smile (Lie behind my smile)

They always thought I was a happy child

The story lie behind my smile (Lie behind my smile)

Prolly shouldn't, but I'm here somehow

The story lie behind my smile (Lie behind my smile)