Melancholic Overdose Lyrics

If it was a hundred below freezing

And you had no way to get back into healing

Stuck outside as you were coughing and wheezing

It's just like everything is so damn displeasing

This no Rainbow Six, there's nothing that I'm sieging

I never set any hopes as high as the ceiling

Deep down I never understand what I am feeling

Now and then I see the Grim Reaper, he's creeping

Every year I'm losing people for no reason

And while I don't believe that it's for treason

My brain, it got me thinking, what is the real meaning?

Honestly what else should I believe in?

If you thought I was annoying, why didn't you tell me?

Part of my problem is I don't wanna be lonely

We could've resolved a whole conflict delicately

So things on both sides were fixed eloquently

To try to cope with this shit, no I don't vape

Or do weed or any other drugs for an escape

I sit back and let the demons unwind out the case

Everyday it feels like a sucker punch to the face

Yeah this shit, it be real like I'm running 5K

It's like I'm the only one running the race

Depression hits me like I'm sprayed with mace

I try to connect the dots but the line don't trace

And I'm so sick and tired of everyday

Overthinking everything that I do and say

Bullshit in my head I never can have my way

No longer do I think that life is a game I play

The color in my world is more than 50 Shades of Grey

I wanna follow my dreams, but I'm lead astray

My head is like WWIII, you hear bombs away

It's not even an armageddon, it's just doomsday

Shoutout Garrett Kelsey and Alexa Purcell

Multiple times you've saved from going to hell

With my dark thoughts that don't even recuperate outside my tiny shell

I love you both forever, time will never tell

But I'll admit that I never really feel like myself

Cause in reality, toxic masculinity's a bitch

Since I can't even make myself feel okay

Or even cry with even just one fat flick of a switch

My brain might be wired but it's all disconnected

Rambling on and on how I think I'm neglected

And I know it's a lie, cause I got tons of friends

But the separations like I said make them end

Since I was a little boy, I've been afraid

Of even thinking that I would be a good Dad to stay

And even be a successful role model for my kids

But Satan may come along and it may be forbid

Now it's funny how I'm an extrovert around my main friends

But introvert to everyone else that I talk to

And I don't mean painfully shy

Like you stay silent almost the whole day because I don't want to

I'm always convinced people talk behind their backs

And say shit about me that I know is not true

And whenever I talk to people about my shit

I can't help with their problems back so I feel like I forgot to

Storms be brewing up in my head

Pouring down rain and hail and lightning

Cloudy thoughts of wishing I was dead

Honestly it may be enlightening

To know that while I may wanna die

The pain I have is still bottled up inside

Has kept me from trying suicide

Cause in life I wanna say "I at least tried"

In no way at all will I beg or borrow

Bottled up pain in me is regret and sorrow

But my problems are as high as Kilimanjaro

I'm still contemplating everyday bout tomorrow

And whether or not it'll give me rain or shine

I'm tryna help people cause that makes me feel fine

I don't put myself first or anything

Because all I want for people is for their stars to align

Yeah, I may not show it that well

Guess I'm just pretty good at hiding it

But maybe now you can tell

What I feel inside and why it's all bullshit

Through the stairs to Heaven I fell

Yet somehow the sky, it stays moonlit

Do you hear the ring of the bell?

If you don't, it's probably only calling me to submit

If I ever hurt you, I'm sorry

Cause I don't want depression and anxiety

I'd never wish it upon anybody

For real mental health it ain't even funny

That's some shit you gotta take serious

There's no reason to be delirious

Am I really running out of time?

Maybe, I dunno, but while I'm alive

If people ever listen to this and relate to me

All I wanna say is god bless to you

I hope you're doing okay

And from the bottom of my heart I really wish that I could help you

I'm on a melancholic overdose everyday with my emotions

Somehow surviving attempts of being drowned

My body's always in a fucking void

And this is one where you don't even hear a sound

But hey, I guess thanks for sticking around

Really makes me feel like less of a clown