Counting Eighteen Lyrics

Eighteen

Just a number to most people

A sense of freedom to some

To people like me

Who see what is to come ahead

Who dread it, who fear it, who avoid it

I've been trying to do that

But in reality, I think I'm too scared to actually do it

But, at the same time

It's all I ever think about

The sweet release of death

The eternal darkness that I can almost swim in

I crave death like someone craves their favorite food

Most of the time, they can't have it

That's like me

I can't have what I'm craving

It's right in front of me

I'm too scared to reach out and take it

I wasn't made for adulthood

I wasn't supposed to make it past 14 years old

But, I did

And I don't know where the fuck I'm supposed to go now

Counting eighteen

With trembling fingers

Here I am stuck

Put through the wringer

I wish I was dead

Out like a light switch

I am so trapped

Life has made me its bitch

Counting eighteen

With trembling fingers

Here I am stuck

Been put through the wringer

I wish I was dead

Out like a light switch

I am so trapped

Life has made me its bitch