Existing Lyrics

Blank stares

I hand to my face and they wave just to ask if I'm there

Out of my trance and I lie to get them out of my hair

I chuckle and tell them that I'm just a little bit tired

Deep sigh

After I take a deep breath knowing that I've had long nights

All in the dark but my face and my thumb in a blue light

Forgetting that I have to wake up at a certain time

I say

"I'm okay"

"I'm good"

"I'm fine"

"I'm alright"

"I haven't died"

"It's coming along"

But then they ask me what's wrong

I don't know what's going on

Been this way for way too long

Don't know when my mind is gone

I'm sorry if I'm not as fun

But it's now at a point that I have nothing to think

I'm sad and I'm bored and I'm closer to the brink of not existing

Am I, am I, am I,

Am I patient

Why do I feel like I'm stuck in a cycle of waiting

I used to be bubbly but now I'm just slowly deflating

Walking behind all my dreams cause I'm tired of chasing

I said that I was cool but I'm not

What I meant was I wasn't doing hard

I said that I was good but I'm not

Not too great, not the best, not the top of my game

Oh it's such a shame

That I've been this way

For months every day

Will it go away?

All I can say is

I don't know what's going on

Been this way for way too long

Don't know when my mind is gone

I'm sorry if I'm not as fun

But it's now at a point that I have nothing to think

I'm sad and I'm bored and I'm closer to the brink of not existing

I don't know what's going on

Been this way for way too long

Don't know when my mind is gone

I'm sorry if I'm not as fun

But it's now at a point that I have nothing to think

I'm sad and I'm bored and I'm closer to the brink of not existing

I've been lying

I'm not doing fine

Something ain't right with

All these phony smiles

And I've

I've been trying

At fighting the good fight

Can't roll with all the punches

When I'm losing all my mind

I don't know what's going on

Been this way for way too long

Don't know when my mind is gone

I'm sorry if I'm not as fun

But it's now at a point that I have nothing to think

I'm sad and I'm bored and I'm closer to the brink of not existing

I don't know what's going on

Been this way for way too long

Don't know when my mind is gone

I'm sorry if I'm not as fun

But it's now at a point that I have nothing to think

I'm sad and I'm bored and I'm closer to the brink of not existing