The Ballad of Dr. Lobster (Remastered) Lyrics

Somewhere down in a peninsula

Comes a tale of many folk

Some tall some short, some genetic freaks

Some addicted to diet coke

In a secret room in Lobster labs

The Dr. creates a plan

To clone a human, a real being

Named Steve, a hairless man

The purpose of this trial

In genetic duplication

Was simply to test the stress on one

Through repeated mutilation

A thousand deaths to a thousand clones

Of just one tiny man

The Doctor's mind was all but shot

But still, his ground would stand

Meanwhile behind the innocent facade

Of a couple friendly dopes

The Tall man and not-as-tall man

Cling on to little hope

Of ever doing anything

That would benefit mankind

Except for making a couple jokes

And eating some pork rinds

Fat and skinny, tall and taller

Dumb and not as dumb

One's loneliness of being girlfriendless

Did cause him to succumb

To the ways of genetic trickery

And made himself a pal

A combination of DNA

Amalgamated in hell

Sincho Galameany is the name

Of this poor wretched soul

A mix of Sinbad, Gallagher

Kevin Meany and Margaret Cho

Demented and devious

A savior to us all

A friend to George Lucas

And a friend to not-as-tall

Now, Robot Fonze is another case

Something went totally wrong

The thumbs-up, the leather

The greasy hair, and never-mentioned bong

What's amiss we cannot tell

He seems sent from above

Simply he is a wonder

Robot Fonze is just pure love

There are others in this world of lobster

In just 4 here panels, you see

But I have to take a little break

I really have to pee

Now that I have come back

And my pants are free of soup

I must summarize this land of freaks

Who seem to hang in groups

Besides those few we talked about

There is also those we didn't

That bitchy Heather is one of them

She can't stand them when they're kidding

A couple thugs here and there

And BY CRACKY, we're almost done

But Don Hasket, and Cecil do

And I think I'm forgetting one

Oh, who else but Satan

Yes he himself, it comes as no surprise

Though from hell he looks better suited

For the starship enterprise

But that's ok, as I'm sure he does it fairly well

And on that note, this song is over

I'll see you all in hell