Dear Grandma Lyrics

I don't have anymore fight in my soul

When I feel you, I lose control

I didn't want this on your page

Now we're separated, and I'm in shame

I held your hand as you took your last breath to your next step of your life

9:20 p.m. October 6th, what a horrible night with a horrible sight

The woman who basically raised me

Laying lifeless in that bed

I already knew you couldn't see me but did you hear anything that I said

All of my confessions and all of my wrongs

How I'd be fine by all of my songs

How I'ma miss how'd you sing along

All of those times that you were my mom

All of those times that you were my dad

Like a brother and sister when we would get mad

And everyone else just to fill up the gap

You were the greatest best friend that I'll ever have

How can I do this without you

Grandma I don't know what to do

I'm so lost and I'm confused

My heart's turning cold from the bruise

And I ain't doing any of this for the views

I just don't know how to get it through to me

Cause usually

I need to vent and give my two cents away at a piece

How can your god be so heartless

Take you away and keep me in the darkness yeah

That's selfish I say it regardless

But cancer took you as a Target

At this point I hope religions true

I don't believe in him

But I believe in you

Wishing you were here with me in this room

It just hurts to say I hope to see you soon

I don't have anymore fight in my soul

When I feel you, I lose control

I didn't want this on your page

Now we're separated, and I'm in shame

I would quit rap

Just to get you back

Delete every track

Just to talk to you

One more time

No more punchlines

No more rhymes

See I'm losing views

I was going to buy us a house

Get you away from section eight

Burn our food stamp card

But see now everything is too late

I am so stupid

For thinking this music

Was going to work and make me blow up so soon

I shouldn't been chasing this stupid ass dream

I should have been home taking more care of you

You were stuck in a home

I'd only stay for like 40 minutes

Then Id leave you all alone

See my patience hit its limit

You see

I'm not a man

I couldn't stand

To see you in so much pain

I am ashamed

Are you happy now life

Please tell me what you have gained

I cannot think or even believe

That you're not alive nowhere to be seen

You'll heal in time what the hell does that mean

In this day and age there in no time to do anything

You blink everything's gone

You're stuck wondering

What you did wrong

And I cannot accept the fact

These deaths are back-to-back

And these emotions of mine are prolonged

Now I'm stuck talking to you through a song

I just

I just

I don't know what the Earth is trying to say

Cause you passed away

On Michael's birthday

I don't have anymore fight in my soul

When I feel you, I lose control