Open Heart Surgery (Whimsical Version) Lyrics

The best day of your life, a child is born

Start out happy, but get ready to mourn

You try to keep them from all of life's danger

Don't eat that and don't talk to a stranger

You read them the same ridiculous book

Or play a game where you talk gobbledygook

You feed them, house them, replace clothes outgrown

Buy a Barbie, a car, and a new cell phone

You persevere through the years of ennui

Spend your savings on a college degree

And then comes the day when they will announce

Everything about you they must renounce

Your views are too weak, or maybe too strong

But whatever, you're just totally wrong

You remember what you did all along

Your list of missteps is perhaps lifelong

You tried very hard, you know that you did

To do the best you could do for your kid

Yet no one you'll find who's better skilled in

Ripping your heart out than your own children