The Actual Him Lyrics

She misses waking to the sight of his eyes on her face

The space that he filled with his everyday things

His razor and toothbrush sitting there by the sink

And she thinks

Of the cup of loose coins he kept on the table

She's able to recall with a feeling of loss

How they'd lie side by side 'neath the covers each night

He'd kiss her on the forehead and turn off the light

She misses the feel of him and the sound of him

And the all-around having him there

But to be fair, does she really care … about losing the actual him

She misses his many small kindnesses

She reminds herself she can take care of the lawn

There are things she will have to learn now that he's gone

And she wonders

Will she ever see flowers delivered again

When will she hear someone say

How the moonlight plays such tricks on her skin

Who will she ever let in

She misses the shelves he would hang and the lights he'd repair

The all-around having him there

But to be fair, does she really care … about losing the actual him

Passing their days in so many ways

Sharing so much and what did they say

"What is for dinner?" and "What shall we watch?"

Was she asking too little, expecting too much

What else does it take to feel satisfied

In all of this time was she just gratified

By his compliments, trinkets, and presents

Were his familiar habits and presence

The essence of love

She misses the routine messages he'd send

When he stopped at the store - did she need something more

The bourbon he favored, the pipe that he smoked

How he spoke of Ashokan Farewell

And would tell her how he loved to hear her sing

The platinum ring he wore on his finger

It was more than she'd ever paid

To say, "I love you"

She misses his shirts in the closet, his pants on the chair

The all-around having him there

She misses the feel of him and the sound of him

The all-around having him there

I guess to be fair, she really does care … about losing the actual him