Ravin' of a Golf Maniac (Mellow Version) Lyrics

Ah distinctly I remember

It was in the bleak December

That I pondered weak and weary

O'er my volumes of golf lore

Eagerly I wished the morrow

That I happiness might borrow

From a game that would cause sorrow

Sorrow to opponents sore

To opponents male and female

Who would evermore be sore

At the lowness of my score

While I nodded nearly napping

Suddenly there came a tapping

As of someone gently rapping

Rapping saying to me"Fore!""'Tis some visitor" I muttered"Out there jealous of my score

Only this and nothing more"

Deep into that darkness peering

Long I stood there wondering fearing

Fearing that a rival had come

Wandering to my door

But the silence was unbroken

And the stillness gave no token

And the only words there spoken

Were the whispered words"Your score!"

Merely this and nothing more

Open then I flung the shutter

When with many a flirt and flutter

In there stepped a saucy Caddie

Caddie who knew well my score

Not the least obeisance made he

Not a minute stopped or stayed he

But with cool assurance laid he my

Golf clubs upon the floor

Then he kicked them nothing more"Prophet" cried I"thing of evil

Prophet still if boy or devil!

By Chick Evans Vardon Travers

And the others we adore

Tell this would-be champion truly

When will bogey be his score?"

Quoth the Caddie"Nevermore!""Be that word our sign of parting

Boy or friend" I shrieked upstarting"Get thee back onto the golf links

Use your voice to call out 'Fore!

Do not try to cool my ardour

For I'll only practice harder

And I know that Col Bogey I'll be

Downing with my score"

Quoth the Caddie"Nevermore!"

And the spirit of the Caddie

Never flitting must be sitting

Still upon my harmless golf clubs

That he kicked upon the floor

For my shots have all the seeming

As if played by one who's dreaming

And with driver cleek and mashie

I'm the one to call out"Fore!"

Always am I in the background

Always do I call out"Fore!"

Good score make I? Nevermore!

Quoth the Caddie"Nevermore!"

Good score make I? Nevermore!