Turning 20 Lyrics

Maybe I was meant to succeed when I was 14

'Cause now I'm turning 20 and I can't find a thing to say of meaning

I had a crisis, like midlife crisis, when I was a teen

So if that's mid-life then the end is nigh, as far as I can glean

And this half life's felt its half-life, even atoms are not clean

Fractured, falling unruly blocks bouncing blindly in-betweens

I spend my days wishing that I am secretly sick

'Cause bloadstains wash out better if you scrub them away quick

I won't live to 27, slit my wrists with guitar picks

But I'm not brave enough to set my life ablaze with a match and a flick

'Cause I don't have anything to live for

But I don't have anything to die for

I'm an artist without audience, neither loved nor abhorred

I ain't an artist

I'm just an idiot who's bored with a keyboard

Maybe I was meant to succeed when I was 14

'Cause now I'm turning 20 and I can't find a life of meaning

See the light of god at the end of the tunnel barreling on through

In your time left do you make amends with deities you never knew?

I can't fight for what's right no more, it's time I flew the coup

If I apologize I'll be better off when I'm born anew

Maybe back in the 50's I could've been a housewife high on lithium

Or maybe in the 90's I could've been a cigarette mom

Maybe some time in the past I'd have liked the products my time

Maybe in another life I would've living one that wasn't mine