can i see you ? Lyrics

My arrested development was evident

My abandonment was the evidence

Doesn't excuse the dark views I've been meddling

This resentment I've been peddling

The reason for the confessions

I always loved the attention but

It's darker than that I'm afraid to mention

I'm sorry mom you tried your best you had the best intentions

I just never learned my lesson

Still shut down in conversation act like interrogation whenever you asking questions

You're strong you always had a vest on

I was your main objective

The best mother to be blessed with

To you I'm indebted

Can't take the credit

In these loops I embed it, I never said it

Recluse remained mute, I regret it

Nothing left to shoot after I make all the edits

Can I see you

I lied, I need you

My pride needs proof

I die to seek truth

I loved this girl I messed with

Felt like she was sent from above like a godly message

I was deserving of love I could've never guessed it

Self sabotage my best friend, spinning at any second

Just playing a character looking for approval

She called me cheap I thought I was being frugal

I thought wherever I go you go

She said forever but it ended soon though

On my knees, begged her to stay

Don't walk away by jade gets played

Maybe this love we had was just a dream of mine

You said you would've carried this seed of mine

I hid some times you tried to see inside

You peek behind the curtain then you realize

There's no wizard of oz, not a surprise

I said I'd work on my mind but never find the time

Can I see you

I lied, I need you

My pride needs proof

I die to seek truth

I gotta fly

Sorry I didn't notify

For my last trick I'll disappear but won't say goodbye

It's not new I learned to do it all my life

Ideation of suicide in my mind

Fantasize about dying and through my art I'm immortalized

I start believing all the lies

What did I let inside

Hid my pain in plain sight

And I'm stuck in fight or flight

Nobody sees it

Only love myself over some achievements

Mama can't believe it

History repeating

Don't play this and get depressed

Play this for the repressed

That tight feeling in your chest

It's time to rest now

Just take a breath now

Til nothing left out

Can I see you

I lied, I need you

My pride needs proof

I die to seek truth