Christmas Down the Toilet Lyrics

It's my favorite time of the year

Friends and family, good spirits and good cheer

Gifts and excitement in the morning

A feast and pleasantries at night

Most of all I love to be with you

And to hold you oh so tight

It's Christmas and time for some romance

But I'm just trying not to shart my pants

Lord knows how bad I want to see ya

But for Christmas this year

I've got

diarrhea

I'm cancelling all my Yuletide plans

Today I'm releasing my bowels on the can

There won't be any Christmas caroling for me

No get togethers with you and my kin

Instead of mistletoe this Christmas

I'll be screaming and releasing the evil from within

It's Christmas and time for some romance

But I'm just trying not to poop when I dance

Lord knows how bad I want to see ya

But for Christmas this year

I've got

diarrhea

Don't bother coming over and trying to save me

Today I'm making a different kind of gravy

Go on with your life and enjoy the day

I'll stay on my porcelain throne and cry and pray

No time alone with you my dear

Since my white Christmas became brown this year

It's Christmas and time for some romance

But I'm just trying not to crap my pants

Lord knows how bad I want to see ya

But for Christmas this year

I've got

diarrhea

Die, uh, ree, uh

Die, uh, ree, uh

Diiiiiii

Uhhhhh

Rrhea