Ambivalency Lyrics

All my conversations

Are just parallel monolouges

Though my body answers

Mentally, I'm gone

I know my emotional absence

Is difficult to detect

But if you look inside of me you'll find things

I've tried to forget

I meant to warn you that I carry heavily

That you'd be better off elsewhere

You shouldn't waste your love on me

But I couldn't get myself to let

What we had just pass

I was kinda hoping that

The two of us could last

There are no words

But a lot I have to say

There are no words

To explain why I tend to walk away

Why I fight you off when I wanna dance

Why you never really get the chance

To comfort me

When its all I need

I want you to stay and I want you to leave

This is me

With all my ambivalency

Relational betrayal over time

Made me adapt

Though I'm here in the present

My traumas reenact

Don't mistake my involvement

This is how I've learned to act

But you have shown again and again

You can give me all I lack

My safest moments were created in solitude

Thought I didn't need anybody

But then there was you

Suddenly I found myself

With a requirement for care

Confusing as it sounds

I want you far away and near

There are no words

But a lot I have to say

There are no words

To explain why I tend to walk away

Why I fight you off when I wanna dance

Why you never really get the chance

To comfort me

When it's all I need

I want you to stay and I want you to leave

Please hold me, please go away

Please follow me, please don't move - stay

Please turn to me, get out and leave

Please do something, please let it be

Please laugh, please cry

Please let me win, or never try

Please wait, I will be there

Though I said I wouldn't dear

Please don't leave me

Don't waste your love on me

Don't leave me

Please place your love on me

This is me

With all my ambivalency