The Ballad of Mr. Punch Lyrics

This is the story of Mr. Punch

He was partial to do a liquid lunch

And when he was finally good and drunk, that's when he'd get a twitch in his hunch

His bell would ring and his passion would rise

He'd see his escape in Judy's eyes

He'd long for the warmth of Judy's thighs, but that's when Baby would cry

He'd wield his stick and he'd hold it high, and sing

That's the way to do it

Well all is fair in love and war

She' changed the locks and closed the door

In a desperate attempt to change his ways, to relate he went, for his marriage to save

Oh, what a pity

Oh, what a pity

Session after session with his violence berated, Punch faced up to all he hated

Finally when no lower could he possibly sink, that's when he changed and gave up the drink

Clean and sober, the booze he didn't miss

Who'd have thought it, Punch!

A monument to wedded bliss?

A monument to wedded bliss?

Oh Judy Give us a kiss

The passion you hear now, comes from the marriage bed

Strong in body, and clear of head

Clean and sober, the booze he didn't miss

Who'd have thought it

Mr Punch, a monument to wedded bliss

He can often be seen with baby in arms, whispering to Judy

Oh Judy, give us a kiss

Judy, give us a kiss

Judy, give us a kiss

Oh that's the way to do it

Oh that's the way to do it

Oh that's the way to do it

Judy, give us a kiss

And his nose, although clean, and kept that way

Still shines as a reminder, of his olden bad ways

Swollen and red, he takes it to bed

That's the way to do it