Weird Blokes Lyrics

I watched a snail crawl along the edge of a straight razor

That's my dream

It's my nightmare

Crawling, slithering along the edge of a straight razor

and surviving

Well folks, it ain't easy being a steezy in a world full of queasiness and all that other bullshit

Dripping with this ice like it's a spiritual occasion

My rapping isn't music, it's a guided meditation

Boy reeks of M&S and using Oysters at the station

Sporting three first names, I'm not using your abbreviations

I'm stationed at the bus stop with a ciggy in my mouth

When I listen to your music, ain't the bus that's going south

Loud mouth when I get a little tipsy

I'll briskly pull up to the function, handling some whiskey

Rolling with the skins that I get from MB

Look under your hood and I can see the envy

Yes, I'm good at waffling like I'm an MP

Check your bank account twice just to confirm it's empty

Clear the city just to take a fucking selfie

Turn your manager to stone and your boss up to a kelpie

My rhyming's automatic, the tragedy was traumatic

Keep a fiver in my pocket and a forest in my attic

When police are searching me, they purchase weed

Keep my DMs open for your fiends, just out of courtesy

I've never had to listen, but I chose to perk my ears

Now we're sitting in the same park with the same bottle of beer, bruv

I'll peek behind my Ray-Bans, intelligence of caveman's

Found a tenner straight away, I gave it to the nitty

Just cos I'm a great man, you're a fake man

If you think I'm stating my escape plan

Laying out my sins, with bare excuses like a waste man

Snap back like a waistband, like Jesus setting trends

Got more fashion than a gay man

Powerslide, doughnuts on my skateboard

When I'm not dropping tunes, you man'll stay bored

I change chords on my acoustic guitar in dimly lit lighting

With a cigarette in hand and a vodka that is biting

I'm the weirdo in the alleyway, my face is very frightening

I do weird shows, I got weird hoes

With weird thoughts, of weird blokes