Dear My Old Friend Lyrics

To whom it may concern. An old buddy, or a pal

It's been a while since I recognized that you were even there

Now wait, that came out wrong. Now what I meant was that I have changed so much that

My old self feels much more like a distant memory. Do you get me?

You might be ahead of me, maybe might have some of the answers

You see, I've been looking for some explanations. Some quotations and confirmations

You see, there's a couple of things that aren't quite fully clear

I hope to pinpoint them all out so you can help me out here. Lend me your ear

Now off the bat, first on the agenda, why do I remember so much?

Why do simple conversations become talking points for later?

Why do I remember the slightest details, like a complete mental record of

Everything that seems to come my way. I'm not exaggerating

I mean, sure, it's helped me out like once or twice, now just for instance

Just a year into guitar, and I've played music for all to hear

I have my own discography that I created from blood, laughter, and tears

I've played at open mics and music gigs and anywhere that's near

But why do I hear the pitches and the frequencies and the screaming

And the shouting of my past mistakes? It makes things complicated

I hear a thousand voices telling me I'm making the wrong decisions

And I can't rationalize my humanity. So I think I'm going insane

I'm left with all the love to give to anyone who wants it

Yet I'm stripped of all the tools to build the bridges to support it

I'm left with all the trauma of a person who no longer exists

And I'm left with a thousand questions with no answers that seem to fit

I hate the fact I look and just see nothing but disgust

My subconscious just warns me that there's nobody that I can trust

My subconscious just warns me that the people that's around me

Are a bunch of fucking hypocrites that I can't ever trust

I don't know why, I'm filled with so much anger and frustration

Is it at myself? Or someone else? There's no particular direction

But the ups and downs of life sometimes feel like a downward spiral

I'm so sick of my thoughts. I feel so coarse, horrid, and vile

But I swear, I try to walk around with nothing but a smile

But we all know that it's a fucking lie, but hey, I gotta try so

I don't give others the satisfaction of knowing that something is wrong

I don't give others the advantage of proving that all my efforts are wrong

So I come to you, my dear old friend, so you can tell me how it is

I can't go to anyone else. They just don't get the jist

Of my unique situation that everyone else in the world faces

Is this my eternal punishment for the both of us trading places?

Dear my old friend

I can feel the pain you're in

What can make it right again?

Is this the end?

Is death supposed to feel like this?

This endless void leans in to kiss

Dear my old friend

I'm a creature trapped in a corner

Don't know if I'll last any longer

I feel alone

Despite these friends and loved ones

I don't think it's enough

Dear my old friend

Why can't I ever trust?

My mind has run amuck

"Think positive"

Is nothing but a band aid

These scars can only fade

Dear my old friend

Maybe I'm ungrateful

Or maybe I'm pretentious

But we both know

These thoughts went on and on

Rather scream from the top of my lungs