Behind Closed Doors Lyrics

What a lot of people don't understand, is what happens when I close doors

You need to wake up and open your eyes and start realizing these things

Open yourself up to the world, don't be ashamed of who you are

Started to understand the world really got me feeling enlightened

It's like I flipped on a switch everything just brightened

Trying to express how I really feel inside got me frightened

Cause every time I try to do right and I get played to the left

It's been a long night, I need to rest

But you keep coming into my head, you asking me how I feel

I tell you I want you, but you don't understand cause it's not real

I'm trying to take these pills, relax my mind

Body at ease, soon to come back

But right now I'm free, so I don't care what it's doing to me

I could die at 16 or 17, but why does that matter

Because I'm basically never seen

Only reason I don't want to die because she's pretty like the evergreen

Want to be noticed by you, that's all I ever dream

Can't bring you over cause I got depression, so my room is never clean

Whatever happens behind closed doors need to be open

Ay I'm tryna be enlightened

I'm tryna be enlightened

I'm tryna be enlightened

I'm tryna be enlightened

Ayy listen to my heart and Imma listen to my soul

I'm gonna tell you that I love you but I really do not know

I just hate to let you go, but I don't want to hear no

So even if I ain't trying to leave I'm gonna let you go

We ain't no exercise so we ain't finna work out

You don't love me like I love you but I guess you wouldn't know

Cause I kept it behind closed doors, I couldn't let it show

I just wish there was some way that I could let you know

I'ma call the suicide hotline, let it ring a few times

They pick up and I tell them never mind

Then I go hit a line, now I'm losing my time

Couple of cuts just to ease my mind

If you ask me then I'll tell you that I'm doing just fine

Chances are that I'm probably lying

But don't blame me cause I promise I'm trying

I feel like I don't fit into this world anxiety

I can't breathe

Sitting in my bed and I lost my mind

Devil sitting on my shoulder saying it's your time

Is it really time to go

Is it really time to go

I don't think I wanna go

Do I really have to go

Think of all the times I've ever been sad

And I can't overcome this one day, this one night

Do I really stop the fight and let death win

It hasn't all been bad

Sitting on the bridge looking back at all the memories I've had

I look back at the ground

All it takes is one fall down

I haven't done all the things that I said I wanted to do

Like tell that one girl that I like her

Maybe she likes me too

Maybe I shouldn't die because what if she wants to

And the 13th reason would be cause of you

The Lord wants us to pour out his love, wisdom, and comfort

Many people feel grief in different ways

Sometimes their pain seems to have no source

But don't suffer in silence

Don't do something that you can't reverse

Like harm yourself or suicide

Call on the Lord for he will answer you