Community Blag Lyrics

I'm in a jam, mate, gotta keep it calm and cool

Police on my doorstep, can't act like a fool

Rivals sniffin' round, want my stash to claim

But I'm playin' double agent in this crazy game

Got my hi-vis on, actin' top notch

Helpin' old ladies while hidin' the watch

Can't make a move, too many eyes on me

Just hopin' for a signal, a moment to be free

Gotta stash the goods, avoid the heat

Keep my head high, plan my retreat

Yeah, my mind's racin', gotta think on my feet

Got officers round, tryin' not to meet

My rival's close by, sniffin' like a hound

Playin' innocent while the tension's profound

Hide the swag quick, in plain sight it stays

Talkin' to the Bobbies, while my brain just prays

Stay cool under pressure, can't let it blast

Bobbies and rivals, both closin' in fast

I've got the goods that they're both lookin' for

But I'm the community blag, gotta hold the door

Stay cool under pressure, can't let it blast

Bobbies and rivals, both closin' in fast

I've got the goods that they're both lookin' for

But I'm the community blag, gotta hold the door

So what do I do, with this loot in my hand

Gotta keep it low-key, stick to the plan

Community liaison, that's my role

But undercover, I'm keepin' control

Blendin' in smooth, play the perfect gent

With a sly grin, not leavin' a hint

My mates in the shadows, they know the drill

We move in silence, keepin' it chill

So I flash a smile, nod at the crew

Hide the goods out of everyone's view

Stay cool under pressure, can't let it blast

Bobbies and rivals, both closin' in fast

I've got the goods that they're both lookin' for

But I'm the community blag, gotta hold the door

This swag I've got, mate, it's more than just gold

It's got a stink so foul, you can't control

Rare perfume, rare jewels mixed together fine

Worth a fortune, but a smell so unkind

Every move I make, gotta keep it tight

One wrong step and it'll all ignite

Stay cool under pressure, can't let it blast

Bobbies and rivals, both closin' in fast

I've got the goods that they're both lookin' for

But I'm the community blag, gotta hold the door

Wait a minute, what's this I hold tight

Not gold, not jewels, but a cheesy delight

Gourmet gruyère, stilton, and brie

All this hustle, for a cheese soirée

Laughin' at myself, all this caution for cheese

Fancy fromage, sniffin' out with such ease

Shiftin' the goods like a spy in the night

But it's cheddar and brie, not diamonds in sight

Laughin' at myself, all this caution for cheese

Fancy fromage, sniffin' out with such ease

Shiftin' the goods like a spy in the night

But it's cheddar and brie, not diamonds in sight

Dodgin' the law, now I see the joke

High stakes for dairy, yeah my cover's bespoke

But I'm grinnin' now, playin' my own game

Not losin', just climbin' to claim my own name

Stay cool under pressure, can't let it blast

Bobbies and rivals, both closin' in fast

I've got the goods that they're both lookin' for

But I'm the community blag, gotta hold the door

From high stakes to cheddar, what a twist in the plot

Kept my cool under pressure, gave it all that I got

In the end, it's all laughs, with a tale to recall

I'm the community blag, outsmartin' them all

Yeah, you can't get nuffin' past me I'm the cheese king of the streets