Life Without You Lyrics

Well, I woke up one morning

Fell out of the bed

Walked over to the window

And to the day I said that

From now on

There'd be no more you and I

Then a passing seagull swooped down

And crapped in my eye

Well, I jumped in the shower

To wash it all out

The soap fell off the shelf

And slipped straight into my mouth

Oh, things could be better

I said to myself

But at least from today

I'll be alone by myself

I think you're the worst person that I've ever met

Two weeks after I met you, you tried to kill my pet

And half an hour later I caught you flirting with the vet

And you said I should be committed

It was insane I got upset

When you moved into my house

You invaded my home

Did you have to bring with you all fifty garden gnomes

And your cooking smells terrible

Even to those little guys made of stone

And you've got no class

You even insist beer be served without foam

And it's not even as if I could say that you're cute

The truth is that your skin resembles a beat-up old leather boot

And I kiss you with open eyes, it's like I'm pashing a newt

And believe me you are wrong when you insist that your farts sound like a flute

So, I'm walking out; I'm walking out

It's going to be a brand-new day

I'm just going to fly away

Being without you is the way things are going to stay

So, I walked down the street

Waiting to catch the bus

The brakes failed and it smashed into all of us

And I was sped off to hospital in a blind rush

They say history don't repeat

But the driver got shat on by a thrush

Well, he let go of the wheel

And we left the tar seal

And when I awoke nothing below by nose I could feel

I remember thinking to myself

Man, this just can't be real

That was when the earthquake struck and I was crushed by a girder made of steel

Well, one week later they dug me out

They showed me all my broken bones on the x-ray printout

But then they ran out of money and sent me home with just a milk-stout

As I was walking down my street someone asked me for a donation for the boy scouts.

And as I walked in the door

What did I see?

You on the couch looking fed up at me

You turned to ask me 'Where have you been?' angrily

Well, I just gave you a smile and offered to make you a nice cup of tea

So, I'm copping out

I am coping out

There's gonna be no brand-new day

I'm just going to put all my dreams away

Being with you is so much easier than walking away

Thought I was walking out

Thought I was walking out

Thought there was going to be a brand-new day

What the hell do I know anyway?

Being with you is the way things are going to stay