A Comforting Displeasure Lyrics

I cry by myself

Not because I’m sad

Or because there’s no one around

But because I want to be alone

I want to feel it all

The guilt, the hate, the regret

I deserve everything bad that has ever happened to me

I deserve everything sad that will happen to me

I die by myself

Not because I’m dying

Or because there’s no one with me

But because I want to die alone

I want to feel what it was like in the beginning

Before I had any family

Before I had any friends

Before I knew what it was like to want something

Before I knew what it was like to hate

The hopelessness is somehow comforting

Just knowing that none of this matters

And that I can enjoy whatever parts I want

It’s all up to me

Because none of it is up to me