WHITE KNUCKLES Lyrics

She talks about the illness like a friend

She once told me if I met her

I would never miss her again

She keeps a little peach pit in her hand

Then she sucks on it for hours

And devours the views of the land

Red wine and nothing

For dinner a muffin

I still hear her coughing sometimes

Smoking in mirrors

Her pain is her dearest

Old friend in the back of her hand

And she said

"You either see me or you don't

You either love me or you won't

You can't just gamble with my love

You either hold me in your hand

Or you can crush me down to sand

But don't you stare from up above"

She'd look me in the eyes and sit up straight

And she'd say "Honey, take the almonds

Think that I've already had eight"

In quiet comprehension of the ghost

I would look at her with sadness and say

"I still love you the most but

Everything's better when we're not together

I can't watch you withering down

Put on my sandals and blow out my candles

I need to get out of this town"

And she said

"You either care that I'm alive

You either sink or swim or dive

There is no dying, there's just dead

And if you want me to survive

You won't just leave me here to

Drive away from things inside your head"

Close when you leave it

The last thing that she did

Was hand me my coat for the road

And there is no healing

No begging or kneeling

That could get somebody to know

What you would lose for them