Day 1 Lyrics

This is for whoever wanna hold onto hope when it feels like it ain't none

This is for whoever so used to the pain in their brain so they stay numb

This is for whoever wanna change but they may not be able to say none

This is for everyone who knows what it's like to start over on day 1

This is for you.

This is for me.

This is for us.

Childhood Trauma

Day 1. This is sickening

Oh my gosh, man, I feel sick

Too many nights that I spent daydreaming 'bout a knife if that's the way that I would forget

I should forget. I should forget

Man, I wish I could forget this thing

It's sad to say I've seen too many day 2's take a hit cause I couldn't kick this thing. Can't skip a scene

I wish I had superpowers.

I wish I had a genie or something

What's the definition of a strong man or an overcomer cause I don't know the meaning of nothing

So, this is day 1

Another fresh start has begun

Again God's giving me a chance

But do you know how many times I was convinced that He didn't have me in His plans

I can't count

So, here we are. Day 1

As good as it gets, it ain't fun

In my mind, I don't wanna stay quiet but I'm too afraid of being judged to say something

So, what do I do? I scream internally 'til my head fills up with anger

Therapy? Me? You know goodness well certain things you don't tell to a stranger

How praying supposed to work

How my heart supposed to be

Why do I wish everyone the best luck

Wanna be angry at God so much but He's God

So, I'm like, Lord, forgive me

I messed up

I'm messed up. I'm messed up

And guess what. Guess what. I don't feel

All the people who be coming and going. All this time that be passing but me, I don't heal.

All the money that these habits have cost

I'm tripping. Ain't paid nothing off but a phone bill

The hundreds I could've stacked but lost

Taco Bell can wait a whole 'nother month. Fix your own meals

Whole time I still have these dreams

All the while I still have these goals

I wish I never knew a single thing there is to know about addiction

But it started 13 years old

Yeah, so

Speak up 'bout what

Say what out loud

I ain't never had nobody to fuss out

Silence is deadly. And I've been sitting here fading away slowly with a shut mouth

If anything negative happens, I know what it is. I blame karma

But I ain't fooling no one. I'm just another adult holding on to their childhood trauma

This is one of those touchy topics

That talking 'bout's frowned upon

But add a melody and a beat then the heat that you speak is bearable to the sound of song

Look at me

Look at how far I've made it

Who knew I'd be around this long

If y'all ain't understand so far, let me try another way and you can tell me how I'm wrong

This could've been my 13th reason

You could've did it all without me

No, no. This can't be my season

I don't wanna fall. But I'll leave

I set the pace but I'm wheezing

But I cannot sink so I breathe

Oh, life done gave me a beating

And I keep on thinking why me

Keep a box of tissue. I sneeze

On the rocks, I slip through. I bleed

I'm not a domestic abuser

But trying to hit's how I grieve

Wait, what's the issue; what I eat

Just let me get the sides please

I gotta turn off the computers

I shouldn't've sit through live feeds

Hey, hello gluttony. I'm greed

Let's enjoy lust high speed

Come keep me company. I'm sleep

Master, too much. Eyes weak

Well, let's have lunch. It's my treat

Just buckle up in my seat

You didn't wanna be stuck behind me

But you just pushed a button and tried me

This is for whoever wanna hold onto hope when it feels like it ain't none

This is for whoever so used to the pain in their brain so they stay numb

This is for whoever wanna change but they may not be able to say none

This is for everyone who knows what it's like to start over on day 1

This is for you

This is for me

This is for us

Childhood Trauma