Raindrops ft. lil emotional Lyrics

Rain been falling outside but not from my eyes

It's been a year or more since I have had the strength to cry

Pain don't subside

Just compounds within me deep inside

Can't let it out so I just laugh, and then I down a shot

Think of my grandpa

So I'm drinking makers mark

Its getting dark

Not beyond these walls

Within this heart

Forget it all

The destination and journey

I been praying daily

Don't think anybody's heard me

I

Stay trepidatious

Cause I'm moving amongst mysteries

These days real life more counterfeit

Than what is on TV

Can't be me

Unless we talking bout a caption

I'm speaking on the future

But I'm living in the past tense

They

Only know the you that you let live outside your head

While other things inside instead

They not paying rent

A wise man said

Nothing cause he chose to listen

But I got distracted so I didn't

I don't know why

But it's been so hard

For me to feel the breeze

Wind been blowing

And I ain't notice

That It push on me

The reluctancy

To admit what's so obviously

Been in my way

For countless days

I Ignore reality

Persistently

Imma jus numb all the feelings I perceive

Accept drugs that I receive

Do em till I fall asleep

Relentlessly

Imma continue till i need to cease

Till the flood gates open and then finally

I start to weep

What am I really doin

Inside of this damaged human

Or is it the mind, could I rewind

See what he been through and

How is he polluted

Who had contributed

Is there retribution or

Or condemnation headed to him

If I knew the future

I could plan my movements

Program what to do and when to do it

How I knew that

It would go in my favor

Instead I'm calculating

Choices that I'm making

Dealing with consequences later