suffering is the best apology Lyrics

Everything hurts

Nails drilled into my bones

I only have half a brain

And I'm probably insane

I have changed, but I have not changed

I think I'm still the same

I think I'm fucking insane

I'm angrier now, and I don't know how it got so bad

But it's not your fault

You should leave, you should leave, you should leave before it gets too bad

Jealousy, jealousy, jealousy won't leave my bed

Leave me be, leave me be, leave me be, you know what I regret

If you stay and don't go away

I'll kill myself instead

These days I hate living in my head

It's hard to get up and make my bed

I wake up with the feeling of dread and spoon-fed guilt to feel more dead

It's playing over and over again, you can smell the shame brewing in my skin

When I left I was playing pretend, hoping it was a nightmare that would suddenly end

But the nausea is digging into my skin and the pain makes me want to repent my sin

While hoping I'm never forgiven

I hope I'm never forgiven

Leave me be, leave me be, leave me be, I don't want your pity

Carefully, carefully, carefully stand beneath the committee

Waste away, waste away, waste away, I don't deserve the things that come my way

Hastily, hastily, hastily, rip off the horrid flesh that sticks to me

Memories, memories, memories are like a stain that won't break

If you stay, if you stay, if you stay, I'll make my grave and decay