St. Anthony Lyrics

Some days I mistake the voice of God for my gut

The divine feminine for chords I've yet to cut

And when I put up my rose I often still feel stuck

Believe I'm not enough cause of all the things that I've fucked up

Some days I just stay home consumed by grief

The kind of weeping that brings you to your knees

And I think to that kid in her Catholic school seat

And I wanna hug her and tell her it doesn't get easy

But you learn how to breathe

And I wanna walk with Mary

Feel the wind beside me

And know at the end of the day

There's this voice inside me to guide me along the way

Often I'm plagued by these debts I believe I owe

To the one who gave me life and the ones I'll never know

But I'll stop fearing these weeds I presume to destroy

Let them be ego and seeds I'm not bound to but choose to sow

Still I'm not quite convinced 'bout this permission speak

Of how obsession masks what I'm resistant to meet

So when I misplace the intensity and push it out externally

Know that I'm tired, Jesus, and just want my soul to be free

And I wanna stand next to St. Anthony

Feel the sand move beneath me

And know that when I pray

And the doom comes back here to hound me

I'll send it away