sister Lyrics

A friend

Not a good one, but a close one

One that I couldn't let go

If I could see you now,

I don't know what I would say

There were always things I didn't know

But I loved you most

Tuesday nights,

Sometimes Thursdays,

7:42 PM

The nights I didn't have to wait you out

Were the ones that kept me in

97 minutes

"I love you most"

I wanted so much to believe it

Or just to hear it

Even if I knew the next day

I wouldn't be able to see it.

Tuesday nights,

And even Thursdays,

10:42 PM

Outside my window,

I sometimes wondered

If that star was only in my head

But it was real

And it was constant

Even when I was alone

Each time you left me

When you decided there should be things

I couldn't know

Three years of silence

Shut it down

You don't deserve to be around

So make it hurt

It can't get worse

Yhe blood will prove if you're still a person

Or just a monster

Come back around

God, put me down

Don't make me pull this from the ground

I'm already nothing

Underfed, my form is shrunken on my bed

I'll pour my nothing into you

So maybe you can be the things

I always said

Not my sister

Not my soulmate

Not my friend, but I was yours

The closest one you ever had

The only one that always endured

Everything that you twisted,

Every time that you lied

Every time you turned outside

Everything that was inside

Whenever you would break down,

Or your car, or whichever,

I was always surprised

The way I held it together

When I was already so broken myself

The bits and pieces I had left,

I always gave you everyday

Begged you to take them,

"Please, hold on,

you can have mine, please, just stay."

You threw them back

And said you dropped them,

They just slipped out of your hands

Left in the ground

What's left of me

I don't know why

I ever let you come back around

Except, I do

I know too well

The way I'll care until I die

Standing like a broken puzzle

As the missing pieces lie

Somewhere I'm not

Air and pain inside the spaces in between

A hollow wind that blows throughout

This jagged chamber

We've both come to view as me

I know I'll never get them back,

Those parts of me I lost to you

I know they weren't all by your hand,

But now those ones I never knew

Are much more heavy in their absence

Amplified by what you stole

The peace of mind I never had,

But maybe could if I had ever let you go

I don't know what you think of me,

Or if you think of me at all

If you pretend I don't exist,

As if you weren't the one that called

Those years ago

Two stories traded, two pains crossed That Friday night

Yours clung to me

As if it knew

That it would have a place to land

For the rest of time

I was always alone,

And then I wasn't

But with you I was still in the cold

Throughout the sleepless nights

I realize

There were so many things

You didn't want to know

You don't deserve the power

Trauma lets you have

The way I'll starve on your behalf

The way I'd bleed to take it back

The prison made of glass

You shrink the space I occupy

On every mouth I see a lie

On every face I see the pain I tried to Leave behind

I walked away and took your shadow

It attached itself to me

I hope that mine still walks behind you

So that you see it

Every time you try to leave

You painted me a number once

And it became my definition

I think we both deserve to know

That you are long past 70x7

The portrait of trust I started young,

Without believing it was true,

With you as the muse

And then the fire

That lit the fuse

And burned that canvas to the ground

I like to think you wouldn't recognize

The person I've become

The one incased inside the structure that Was built when I was young

I shattered that, no thanks to you,

But one thing is still the same

Since we met:

Sometimes, I can't decide

Whether I wish I never met you

Or if I wish I never left.

Maybe someday, I'll fill a book

With things you thought I didn't know

I knew your eyes

And all your words

That echoed lies

To where I stood

The borderline

That kept us both against the edge

I was the one you always claimed,

Sister,

The one you weren't to me

And so I let them settle in my soul,

Stories,

Ones my mind would never have believed

And even now, I still can't doubt

That I would do the same again

But I know the next time I save your life

Would be the last

I won't survive

So, don't give me the chance