1% Irish Lyrics

It's St. Paddy's Day in the USA

And the river's turning green

Been drinking Irish whiskey

Since around 7:15

Now I'm off to meet the boys at Duffy's Pub and Grille and Bar

Got my U2 greatest hits CD already in my car

Now when it comes to Irish blood

Well I haven't got that much

My father is half polish

And my mom's a quarter dutch

But my granny's father's mother's brother came from County Louth

And on Paddy's day that 1 percent is all that bloody counts

So get a round of green beer for every lad and lass

And if you don't like Irish whiskey then I'm gonna kick your ass

The famine brought our ancestors to this great country's shore

For me to drink and fight and puke and pass out on the floor

We walk into the pub and now the party's surely on.

The bartender's name is Seamus but I'll just call him John

I ask for Irish car bombs

He gives his head a shake and tells me

"You don't want the Irish car bombs that I know how to make."

So I bring back a round of Guinness

And now the food is here.

We've got green corn beef and cabbage, like they eat in old Kildare

The corn beef tastes like dog food

Like it's covered in green mold

So I tell the chef he sucks

And then he knocks me out cold

So get some Irish egg rolls for every lass and laddie

If you don't like Notre Dame then you're a

Dirty Plastic Paddy

The famine brought our ancestors to this great country's shore

For me to drink and fight and puke and pass out on the floor

I wake up and it's nighttime

All me boys are gone

But the bagpipers are still around playing the same old song

It's the one that goes

*Bagpipe plays "SCOTLAND THE BRAVE"*

I peel myself off the floor

And the room is spinning round

If I hadn't been knocked out I would have drank until I drowned

Old Ireland, she's proud of me

As I stumble to the door

And on Cinco de Mayo we will do it all once more!

So get some margaritas for every Señiorita

If you didn't grow up Catholic then you are no friend of me-a

The famine brought our ancestors to this great country's shore

For me to drink and fight and puke and pass out on the floor

So get a round of green beer for every lad and lass

And if you don't like Irish whiskey then I'm gonna kick your ass

The famine brought our ancestors to this great country's shore

For me to drink and fight and puke and pass out on the floor