Cancer Mans Herpes Story ft. Lil D Lyrics

Cancer man, he's been living with his dick down

Cancer man, he moved to a new town

Cancer man, it's been bout 7 years now

Cancer man, he turned his life around somehow

Cancer man, he went to the doctor

Cancer man, with his past he thought he oughta

Cancer man, he just turned 30

Cancer man, they told him he has herpes

Cancer man, came back from erectile dysfunction

Taking all those pills, yeah they really helped his function

Now that he was back, all the girls wanted a piece yeah

Looked at him, turned out he was morbidly obese

Yeah, they didn't care, they just wanted Cancer man

So they let him come inside of everywhere, like in their hands, in their hair, in their pants

In their goddamn everywhere,

Then he turned to one and said This weird thing,

Told her open up her mouth, here comes the load

Oops, I hit the second tower, I made that shit explode

Now that it was gone, it was a national tragedy

She didn't care, she got back on her knees to keep sucking his D

The night was young, they had their fun

She had to tell him bout what he'd just done

Yeah, totally shocked, no he couldn't believe it

So he picked up his phone to call up Dr. Riedman

Hip hip awop

Hello?

Huh?

Ok I'm going to ignore whatever the fuck that was.

Hey Dr. Riedman, do you know any treatments for herpes?

Or am I stuck

It's fucking 1am man, and I'm not even a doctor

My name's Carl

But I don't know, maybe radiation

Cancer man, he's been living with his dick down

Cancer man, he moved to a new town

Cancer man, it's been bout 7 years now

Cancer man, he turned his life around somehow

Cancer man, he went to the doctor

Cancer man, with his past he thought he oughta

Cancer man, he just turned 30

Cancer man, they told him he has herpes

Huh? Where'd it go

Man, I was listening to that

Oh shit

Oh it's a beat switch! Aw fuck, I wasn't paying attention

Yeah

Tried to start a career in mathematical science

But he accidentally started the KKK alliance

Yeah, world's biggest clan, tons of fans

At the top was his white ruling hand

Things got heated, fled to Japan

So he started the Yakuza

Started drinking booza

Hatched to plan a take out somebody with the blueshell

Went to the store, bought a 20 gauge

Went to Kurt's house, made him feel my pain

Shot him in the eye, made it look staged

Fled the house, fled the scene, went and got laid

But cancer man's no bigot, so he left on a private plane

His depression and position left a field of bigoted pain

Didn't give up, started doing treatment

Seeing Dr. Reidman bout every Monday evening

He started getting better, yeah

His lips were getting wetter, yeah

Is this Carl again?

Fucking Carl, fuck off Carl

Fuck you! Fuck you Carl

Fucking kill yourself

Hello Xander, this is actually Dr. Reidman from STI testing center

Shit

We have your lab results back and the treatments have worked

You no longer have herpes

Oh shit, uh

That's amazing

Um, sorry for the confusion

So does like that mean that I am

Like no one can catch it from me anymore

Yeah, so pretty much how the process worked

Is we cleared it from your system completely

So unless you get it from someone else again

Then no one is able to get it from you

Well, you know, I guess now that I don't need you anymore

KILLYOURSELF

Cancer man, he's been living with his dick down

Cancer man, he moved to a new town

Cancer man, it's been bout 7 years now

Cancer man, he turned his life around somehow

Cancer man, he went to the doctor

Cancer man, with his past he thought he oughta

Cancer man, he just turned 30

Cancer man, they told him he has herpes

Cancer man

Was freed

From his

Disease

No longer tied down

By the clown that is herpes

He went around town

Showing it off

Stroking his dick

Fucking the moms

Made some more kids

Cancer man

Was finally back once again