COOLER TALK Lyrics

Woke up this morning feeling too well rested

Briefly free from tedious monotony

I guess it's well earned

I'm feeling less than alive

I heard it by the cooler earlier today

There's something wrong with Brad

He can't come in today

He's working from home

Six feet in the ground

I'm so stressed I can't think

No traffic, the light's still red

Waking up to go to bed

I don't read papers, I just sign

I wrapped my soul in a box and sent it off to die

So sad, but I'm living for that cooler talk drag

Working 9-5 and life's just great

I've been employee of the month for 4 years straight

I'm sad, but I'm living for that cooler talk drag

Tim's looking smug

Brad's office getting cleared today, Tim didn't wait

He's always had his eye on that mahogany desk

(That mahogany desk)

This revolving door spins on and on forever

This office is a tether

This desk is my life

And I'm so stressed I can't think

No traffic, the light's still red

Stuck working here until I'm dead

I don't read papers, I just sign

I wrapped my soul in a box and sent it off to die

So sad, but I'm living for that cooler talk drag

Working 9-5 and life's just great

I've been employee of the month for 10 years straight

I'm sad, but I'm living for that cooler talk drag

And I swear if one more person asks me who I am

I'm gonna crack, I keep telling myself

'This is my last week, this is my last month

This is my last-'

And I wouldn't worry too much about the empty office

Brad's replacement's already bringing in his boxes

Brad's name scratched off the door

I guess it's back to the old routine

But I come in as a human being today

'Cause how many years have I sunk into this place?

Working endlessly, I can't repeat these days I've wasted

Don't tell me what I'm missing

I don't want to know

I don't read papers, I just sign

I wrapped my soul in a box and sent it off to die, so sad!

I'm dying from that cooler talk drag

Working 9-5 and life's just great

I've been employee of the month for 50 years straight, oh man!

I'm dying from that cooler talk drag

That cooler talk drag, that cooler talk drag

That cooler talk drag, that cooler talk drag

(Heard it by the cooler earlier today)