The Horse, The Whites of The Eyes Lyrics

We shot up that night with our feet swinging over the crease of a brook

You flashed a smile

That slit a wound into the meadow of night

I remember you asked me if I'd ever done this before

With the same feverish voice

Eager to corrupt anything good left in me

I said of course

But what is goodness worth

To a girl born with thorns in her side

I lost my softness years ago

My skin hardened in my mother's denial

Boldly I seized

The egg-shaped pod flickering between your fingers dripping milky sap

The whites of my mother's eyes reflected

In the silver spoon turning sap to sticky brown bubbles

The sweet tar

Unhinged seductive syllables into the air

And crackled beneath the flame blooming in your hand

Like a bouquet of gold fireworks

My veins bloated blue with syrup

Ears filled with cotton dipped in hot wax

I remember when the horse

First touched my body in the dark

I swear I felt it grow in me

Stretching new dimensions in my chest

And I finally knew religion

And I felt just like Jesus' son

Lou Reed's heroin song lodged between my gritting teeth

I was invincible again

My eyes two pearls rolling backwards into my head

My fingernails digging into the earth

Then into your arm

Mining for diamonds

Or anything cut refined or beautiful I can vulgarize

The way you turned away from me and gave me room

To unravel novels of madness from slackened maw

Full of ink

Reminded me of my mother

Looking away as she always did whenever I made up stories

Of shadowy figures taking handfuls of girlhood

Leaving me

As a damp spot soaked in sheets

She washed

Over and over again.