infinite Lyrics

There's not much that scares me

Quite like the idea of being alone

Every time I feel cast out

I wish that I had found my way home

It feels like a pipe dream

Doing my own thing

Without withholding

Living out my true values

And seeing the value in myself

And I know things get better again

I've seen it come and go with the wind

But once it starts and I'm in it

I just wait for the end

Why does it feel so impossible

Please tell me I'm not alone or I'll go insane

Running through infinite obstacles

Does it ever change or do I just learn to live this way

I've searched for the balance

All of my outlets are leaving me cold

As I'm coming up empty

You don't have to tempt me to let things go

I struggle with changing

And been learning lately that it's in my soul

Deep down I will submerge

To address my concerns of losing control

Self aware but not enough to care

I'm hiding from myself down here

And I know why

I don't wanna cry

When I discover I'm not the girl

I thought I'd die for

Why does it feel so impossible

Please tell me I'm not alone or I'll go insane

Running through infinite obstacles

Does it ever change or do I just learn to live this way

Do you remember the letter you wrote me

After our eighth grade year in 2013

I keep it still in a box in my closet

I'll wonder why till I die if I caused it

Do you recall that summer after college

Studied abroad, one night went wrong

And I became the problem

I've noticed there's been a theme in my recollection

I've stained all my best days with anxious deflection

And now I'm just rambling about

All the things I've lost in this life already

When I'm just getting started

I don't wanna know what else I'll ruin

Don't even give me the chance to

And there I go again

Taking two steps forward

Just to pretend I didn't