This How I Really Feel Lyrics

For the longest I been living in a circle never ending

I been working hard as ever but it seems I'm never winning

So I start to doubt my dreams and I think I'll never get it

Like I'm Barkley with a ring but I still keep pretending

Like I'm good when I'm not this is only the beginning

Of my problems that's I'm facing like a blunt I never hit it

I can ramble and go on and on really never finish

How my life is very different and I wanna change positions

Still got my eyes on a billi that's what my focus on

But imma million miles away and then my focus gone

I try reminding me I'm strong and that it's nothing wrong

Sometimes I really wanna fall but I keep holding on

How am I happy when I got so many problems left

Not just with me but with my fam as death has been a theft

It's stealing lives and taking money trynna get it even

But why my folks hell we tired of this fucking grieving

I been pulling out my hair this shit is so uneven

I be pulling and I'm plucking cause I just cannot leave it

Alone enough so it can grow and now it is a habit

I'm looking wild without a cut a real jungle savage

I quit caring bout my image dripped in different fashion

I hardly ever leave my room that's prolly what's the saddest

My niggas say that I been tripping but ain't seen my baggage

That I carry as of lately while I'm losing passion

When it's music a piece of me going missing

Missing that flame inside of me guess I'm leaving the kitchen

Energy ain't the same with this shit and it's my admission

I been shifting my focus on getting that billi ticket

Ain't kicking it with my niggas I ain't been feeling the same

Prolly cause I been going through quarters a lil change

Or my time that's been ticking will signal ending the game

I'm playing with all these folks and it show I'm pretending sane

My life in constant circles, that bitch is just in shambles

Elite with mental toughness, ain't shit that I can't handle

New day it's something different, got seen by uncle Samuel

He taking all our money, then blow it just like candles

College finna be ending but idk what I'm doing

Whenever this shit is over idk what I'm pursuing

I'm searching city to city but privy to being truant

Until I'm finding my purpose the motions I'm going through it

I like to hide all my emotions from the public and my friends

And I fake it like I'm great but I just don't give em a chance

To see me down as if I'm weak and I had just thrown up my hands

But I don't wanna be that nigga who gone pout and ruin plans

I just don't know if I had money would it even change a thing

Most of my problems ain't my fault so they maybe stay the same

I ain't the only with this shit I'm just equipped to take the pain

But I'm the strongest so I harness it and I'll just take the blame