Birds Lyrics

I dreamt I moved away to one of those islands

Choosing a new name,

Buying myself flowers every weekend at the farmer's market,

Pretending I'm from nowhere

Forgot it was a game and became that other person and never thought of you again

Now I hold that picture closely at the forefront of my mind

It could happen tomorrow if I pulled myself together

And resolved to feel lonely, disconnected from my life

Driving to the ocean to feel like I left something behind

Tried skipping rocks until I could, until I was strong enough to leave

Then returning, feeling nothing, feeling scared to see you in the kitchen

Terrified to eat, but bathing surely in the moon

So I'd feel something special for someone that isn't you

It's getting hard for me to separate people from their ghosts

I'm making everything that touches me my life

I dreamed of sitting on a sticky rocky beach

Surrounded by birds and nests who talked like people who never once thought about me

They talked like static

Do you feel it now

Now it's truer than ever

I sit near the door

Once again, drive to the mountains

Once again, drive to the river

Once again, take in the sunset to remember something matters

Once again, I think about how tiny we must be

Once again, just staring down the door in front of me

See the blue house to the right of me

See the brown one to the left of me

See the ever-peeling paint

Always faded, sometimes fine to me

This has become an oil painting

There's a painting of the sky peeking through my closet window

Always dripping, trying to fly

Paint's dripping down like water, watercolor soaking in

I wrote a song a year ago, couldn't make the words fit

Now it's done and I'm embarrassed

You were right, I couldn't see it

But I had to stop waiting

I had to stop waiting

Do you feel it now

Now it's truer than ever

I sit near the door