My Recital (Chapter 1) Lyrics

I cant lie man i wanna tell the truth

I suffered with myself so let me talk to you

Just listen in close evrything i say is true

You might just hear something resonate with you

From a younng age i dont remember much

I remember being hungry, but barely eating lunch

I remember all the death like when i lost my mum

My baby sister too, why the fuck have they all gone

I woke up in the morning to the sound of someone screaming

I ran to the noise just to find lizzy not breating

My fathers on his knees and i know he aint belive it

He tried to wake her up, no luck, but he's pleading

See, Lizzy left me whenn i was like 6

A long time ago but the memory it sticks

My mum and dad got low, fell down to the abyss

And then they grew apart they couldn't hide it from their kids

Then, not long after, i lost my mother

Went downstairs cuz i had the thought to hug her

But that was something, i couldnt do

My father told me, get up to your room

So i sat in silence, and then i heard the sirens

I saw the flashing lights and saw my brothers frightened

My father came up, looked at us and started crashing

See i knew the reason, my mother just stopped breathing

I weaken at the knees and now my dark thoughht they deepen

Believing a heathen all my demons i can see them

As life went on and i got older

My thoughts got dark, and my heart got colder

The weight of the world, fell up on my shoulder

Emotions, slowly took over

So I turned to the life of no sober mind

Started popping pills each one of every kind

I had to sleep on the streets eating food that I could find

A floating entity man I was just wasting my time

Didn't care if I had died,

In fact I even tried

To end my own life roughly 7 times

Tried to overdose

Cut my arm up with a knife

Started selling shit to keep my mind occupied

So i live and think for another better day

i got a lot up on on my mind i gotta lot a shit to say

Ima Take my pace yeah im gunna take it slowly

Chat about myself, so then you know me

First thing 1st, no mother

7 years old yung boi dont recover didnt have time to tell her that i love her

The World turned grey man i couldnt see the colour

Lost my self so i had to rediscover

But i couldnt do that i got left in the gutter

See I Went to school but i didn't really fit in

Tried my best didnt know what i was missing

Now im sitting reminiscing having visions of my time line

Tryna move forwards now tryna live my life

I gave up turned to acohol and drugs

kicked out my home had to do it on my ones

I was so lost man i felt no love

So yeah i tried to do it, tried to pull the plug

Overdose didnt work that way is not the one

Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun

Pull the trigger that is really what i want

Life been a game so i treat it like one

See the last couple years been the hardest of my life

I lost all I had, now I'm reminiscing time

Fuck it, numb the pain rack them lines

I lost all my friends in the space of time like

Fuck it, I know the fault is mine

I wanna make amends I wanna make things fine

So fuck what you think what you wanna say about me

A lot of fake friends they don't wanna hang around me

I'm up out the gutter so I'm standing tall proudly

Up in the sky you can never bring me down B