Journal Entry '20 Lyrics

Imma stand up walk across the room to grab that pen and my journal

'Cause I can't get my head to relax, it's nocturnal

It keep me up at night

I can't converse all these feelings

I start to live inside

It's easier than true feeling

Or expressing all these thoughts and see that look in your eyes

'Cause you're not understanding that we stand different sides

See I'm not you and you not me

Your reaching for lies

Truth is that I can't explain what's all in my mind

Now is this how it's 'posed to be?

I'm comfortable with not knowing but I like living in certainty

That's probably why I'm urging for control over hurting, see

The fear of letting go yet I encourage you to flow with the sea

Part of creating's slinging fist and ducking hits from your shadows

When I'm not me and I'm busy, I'm lost in the gallows

So if I leave to find the G who don't run from battles

Just please don't freak, and hit your feed, those snakes will just rattle

I love you, girl you know I fucking love you

I just need the space to still be me so I can show up for you

I will drive through hell and back, long as my heart beating for you

And if they aiming at your back I'm gonna take that bullet for you

Girl I swear

All of this time and work over years

In a place where what do, is who we are

This shit ain't fair

See they tell you live your dreams when you're young and free of their fears

Then they speak the perfect words to tare you down as you go through the years

But I'm just happy I built me, through all the nights with no sleep

Inside this poetry is quiet space to just be

I write the dreams, I manifest, it's all with belief

And yet I see perceptions getting filled with envy

See this like a lil seperate verse for "The Calm"

Let me explain

"It's dedicated to my mom and I swear my word is bond

Everything will be okay and it won't even take that long"

I'm just paying my respects to the niggas who's music had kept me going

Yeah

Man we waited our entire lives just to get this moment

With a lil Dhanya Vad

A lil Baba Voss

A lil Ahem Prema, all these souls get somewhat lost

Getting caught up filling planners with these things besides ourselves

We start losing our connection to the heart it's growing frail

I lost some friends who had demons

Lost some friends to ego wins

I can't ever hold resentment, knowing where we all began

I got mad love for you, I just stay at a distance

But if you falling to your knees, you better take my fuckin' hand

Understand

We're going through these changes tryna balance life out

Its real sometimes you need breakdowns so you can breakout

I thought I lost my flame when the fluid ran out

I grabbed the sticks and rubbed 'em til my own spark was found

Now I'm bleeding on the paper

Blood to ink from my hands

My thoughts just paint the page and all these words mix and blend

I started off a mess but now see beauty within

I'm grateful you just witnessed all the powers of pen

Or the powers of Zen

When you need a fucking moment won't you try to transcend

See this change is Universal, watch the leaves come again

Watch the art of releasing that's Ultra-D from the head

Now absorb that shit in

You gon have to listen to that on repeat a couple times in order to truly understand

Or listen and read the lyrics type shit

So much depth

So much truth

It's G

Love