It's Christmas and I'm Crying Lyrics

It's Christmas and I'm laying low

I've got a couch where I can go

I'm feeling like an absolute balloon

I ate my weight in humble pie

And made my second uncle cry

Cos I told him they never reached the moon

It's Christmas and I'm crying

I've never felt so much like giving up

It's Christmas and we're all lying

To make up for the chasm between us

It's five o'clock, the turkey's burned

That lucky incinerated bird

I sneak out of the room for max and cheese

The arguments, they've started now

The left, the right, the upside down

We'll take each other out

Until there's no one left to please

I drove three hundred miles just to be here

I climbed back in the closet

For the weekend for your benefit

I've never met this man in my whole life

But I'm expected to

Tell him why I don't have children

The party's on, the claws are out

Who gave the sherry to the kids?

Who's got the number for the doctor

Why's it always end like this?

Your brother's on the floor

Feeding turkey to the VCR

Why'd you take off the tags?

Now I can't return this left hand guitar

The parties on, the claws are out

Who gave the sherry to the kids?

Who's got the number for the doctor

Why's it always end like this?

I tried my best to make it through the evening

Boxing Day is just around the bend

But if one more cousin has something

To say about my failed career

I'll leave something for them in their bed

It's Christmas and we're all heaving

The toilet bowl's not big enough for this

It's Christmas, when are you leaving?

Three hundred and sixty five days of bliss

It's Christmas and I'm praying

Next year I'll have a reason not to come

It's Christmas, that's all I'm saying

We brought the pain and traded in the fun

The party's on, the claws are out

Who gave the sherry to the kids?

Who's got the number for the doctor

Why's it always end like this?

Your brother's on the floor

Feeding turkey to the VCR

Why'd you take off the tags?

Now I can't return this left hand guitar

The parties on, the claws are out

Who gave the sherry to the kids?

Who's got the number for the doctor

Why's it always end like this?