It twas the night before christmas

A cold christmas eve

Down in the basement

Making some beats

Nothing was stirring

Even the puppies asleep

And I was in the zone

Cooking up some heat

Home alone on the TV with the volume on zero

We just finished elf, Buddy is my hero

It's getting late and the holidays are here

So I better go to sleep, turn off the TV, that's when I hear something

What could that be? I need to check it out

I sprint up the stairs, I'm already on edge A silent night, gon' get loud if I need to throw fists

If this is a prank then it's a naughty list Trick

I don't care if it's Dasher or Dancer

There's gonna be blitzing I cut through the kitchen

That's where the footsteps stop

But it's empty

There's no one in there at all

At this point

My whole strategy's stalled

My wife is 8 months pregnant

I doubt she got up for a walk

I pressed against the wall

Now there's no noises at all

Was it all in my imagination

Or was it more involved? The little drummer boy

Had my heart beating so hard You could almost hear the thump

Like someone's decking the halls

That's when I got a shadow flicker

At the other end of the room Some burly figure

Hunched over a plate Looking like he was licking his fingers

At this point I felt my whole body shiver

I jumped out of my hiding

Threw on the lighting Looks like we're gonna be rocking

Around the Christmas tree tonight And I was ready to fight

Get Jingle Bell rocked That's when I had to pause and shock

There in front of me Caught red and white handed

Was the jolly old Christmas cookie bandit

His beard full of crumbs

Fingers covered in frosting

And at that moment I knew

I'd have coal in my stocking

And I straight up said it

Those are my Those are my

Christmas cookies

Those are my Those are my

Christmas cookies

Those are my Those are my

Christmas cookies

Those are my Those are my

Christmas cookies

I know they look good and you just want to taste one

Put the cookie down step away from the plate bruh

Those are my Those are my

Christmas cookies

Those are my Those are my

Christmas cookies

Then with a twinkle in his eye he said

I think you had me mistaken for somebody else

These were left out for me Or else they'd go stale

A compliments to the cook They are very delicious

I'm so glad calories don't count on Christmas

But I cut them off there Pulled them over towards the chimney

Said you need to go And you better start listening

We ain't bout that Santa life Didn't you see the nativity

We don't need no Tim Allen Tripping out here bickering

My wife made those for me Not to fool the kids

These cookies ain't for No little Saint Nick

Get back up on the roof With the click, click, click

Or I'll show you where to stick That Christmas list

Well, then he left

And I was kinda still in a state of shock And feeling guilty for my tone

But anyway I guess the moral of the story is

Those are my Those are my

Christmas cookies

Those are my

Those are my Christmas cookies Those are my

Those are my Christmas cookies Those are my

Those are my Christmas cookies

I know they look good

And you just wanna taste one

Put the cookie down

Step away from the plate, bruh

Those are my

Those are my Christmas cookies

Those are my

Those are my Christmas cookies