therapy Lyrics

This fucking beat, this fucking pen, this fucking ink

Is all, it's all my fucking therapy

Yeah

As I sit back and reminisce on my life

I often wonder what things would be like

If I never started rapping, if I never met Jackson

What if I ain't meet Uylus on PlayStation?

What the fuck would be happening?

Like, what if I never dropped Back to Back

Or made any track, back to back?

Volume 1 to Volume 2, what if I left 'em on the rack?

Cause I thought that shit was whack

What the fuck would I be doing then?

But now I'm never looking back, cause

All the drugs and shit, use to cope with the pain

I hate being outside, I can't stand the rain

All this fake gangster shit, that you try to maintain

Bout as fake as my smile on a day to day, yeah

But, I'll drop the album, then I disappear

Never thought that I would be here

I'm done putting faith in my fears

Don't look back never check the rear

Look at the man in the mirror

Changed a lot from when I was 10

I've wanted this since I was a kid

Since I was rapping in the closet with my niggas

It's crazy to look at what we did

And how far we done came

Momma taught me how to never be lame

So I branched out and then I carved my own lane

With all this self deprecation there's no time for meditation

I got an ego that's as bout as thin as my patience

I'm forever underrated, over appreciated

Yet I still haven't made it

Everything I've ever done they try to downplay it

All alone on my own journey, but still spreading positivity

I haven't realized I'm successful in my own way

But, maybe one day I'll figure it out

Until then, let me see what all this shit is about

I'm out, yo

I used to think I'd have it all figured out by now

Problems be solved, throw em all behind the back by now

Me and my niggas would be living good

I could tell em how I'm doing everything that I said I would

But I'm still stuck in my old ways, my old home

People call me and get the old tone,

Cause I done put down my phone, not answering it, please leave me alone

Unless you my mom, my girl, or one of the people I'm relying on

They all got my back, but that's about it

I'm not gonna come on this track and try to start shit

But how you tell someone you'll always have their back, but you call it quits?

I think that's just ridiculous, let's get back to it

Cause people don't feel what you say unless it's truly real

But I still have to hide the way I truly feel

I can't let no one see all this pain that I feel inside

I haven't truly been happy since the day my grandmother died

That was 2020, do the math it's been 3 years

They say time heals all, why am I still crying these fucking tears?

Tryna do all of this shit without my grandmother here

All this stress and shit from work got me losing sleep

My friends saying I need therapy

All the shit I'm saying and doing got em scared of me

Cause I text em when I got suicide on my mind

And I guess they scared cause they know I could do it anytime

So many ways I get lost in my mind

But I keep you close so that shit is easier to find

I'm either all alone or off the grid I can't even decide