Managing Your Emotions (Heel Promo II) Lyrics

Hey Brother TK! What's happening?

Just kidding, don't give a shit.

Here, let's step into Conference Room 47 so I can tell you how big of a fat piece of fucking shit you are at your job.

OK, so as you know from my monotonous script I say here at every meeting, we have various competencies and milestones to meet here at the Client Disservice Center.

Blah Blah Blah, fine print, screw you over, so on, so forth.

OK so basically, yeah, you're shit. Your numbers are abysmal, and I know you have a life-threatening disease, but we don't give a fucking shit about that, only what you can do for us.

What we're gonna do is put you on unpaid FMLA, then continue giving you shit for using it.

Yeah that's right, sign here, here and here, that's right, now that we're paying you less and making you sign a doctor's note every day even though I don't have to when I leave early every day to go ride my stupid dick-compensation motorcycle down Interstate 96 and pretend that the HR lady about to fire you want to fuck my manrod.

Why don't you pick a book to read for your IPM since we're a Goddamn High School all of a sudden with homework assignments?

Incase you needed another fucking reason to deepthroat a shotgun and pull the fucking trigger.

Here, why not this book called MANAGING YOUR FUCKING EMOTIONS?

And then after that, do eight different sexual harassment classes, five security training courses, sit here for an hour and eleven minutes while we blab on about some healthcare database you'll never touch, listen to us circle jerk Kathy's clit off for her, since she is singlehandedly delivering us to the promised land, and then try to engage with your sperglord dipshit hipster liberal hivemind peers.

They play video games.

Look at Tits McGee! Everyone boobs her.

Whoops, sorry, loves her.

She's been Employee of the Week 87 times already, you fat, cancerous waste of space.

Oh yeah, and hey, uh, how about that HR lady, huh? VERY hot. Oh, and uh

Alright, fuck this shit.

FUCK WITH ME AND I'LL FUCK WITH YOU!

IT'S ALL A GAME!

IT'S ALL A FUCKIN GAME.

And guess what, boss? Guess what I just did to you, big bossman, huh?

Can ya guess?

That's right boss, I pressed start, motherfucker.

Why look at that!

The Client Disservice Center just became a wrestling ring!

Well, how'd that happen, boss?

And whoops! The ropes are barbed wire now.

And I'm gonna chokeslam you through eleven flaming tables from atop the HEAVEN IN A CELL.

Because you fucked with me, boss.

And now I'm gonna fuck with you.

And you will pay me for it.

Not only in currency, not only in blood and missing skin fragments.

No, no no.

In karma, too, bud.

Leviticus 1:11, boss. The burnt offering.

From your favorite book.

No, not Managing Your Emotions, boss, you dipshit. Come on.

Use your managerial skills, here.

Leviticus 1:11 reads as follows.

"And he shall kill him on the side of the altar northward of the Lord. And his sons, the Priests, will sprinkle his blood roundabout on the altar."

Do you know what Jester 1:11 says, boss?

HUH? DO YA?

Jester 1:11 says GAME OVER.

GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY! GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY! I KILLED HIM!

GOD AS MY WITNESS, HIS HEAD'S SPLIT IN HALF!

I guess I managed my emotions after all, eh boss?