In Memory Lyrics

So many things I regret

Can't look back, can't take back what I said

But it plays all damn night in my head

If I get this weight off my shoulders, will I forget

What you deserved, you were the first

To give me love, nonjudgmental, unrehearsed

Genuine, real, reliable, raw love, my friend

If I could, I'd let this track play on loop for days on end

So many things I gotta say

And words flow out like a river

Cause there's a flood going on in my brain

I let the fear take hold of me

Fear of how good this connection could be so I put up walls

and told myself it was fair

But you couldn't see past the bricks that were there

Your transparency made me feel free

Made me believe I could do the same thing

I went and bought tools to knock it all down

All my past, all my doubts

But then

But then, our time ran out and

So many things I regret

Can't look back, can't take back what I said

But it plays all damn night in my head

If I get this weight off my shoulders, will I forget

What you deserved, you were the first

To give me love, nonjudgmental, unrehearsed

Genuine, real, reliable, raw love, my friend

Vivid scenes of pulling up to your house

Watching TV on your couch

You took the time to make me food

We ate together and laughed loud

Like it was noon, but it was 1am

Today I'm retracing steps, been so caught up in my mental

You were so good at good thoughts, I've been so damn existential

Cause one day life can give lemons, the next day it disassembles

How do we pick up the pieces of grief that leave us unsettled

Toss and turn

I'm trying to learn

The clock ticks, the mind yearns

The bridges that burn

The fact that we don't have no say in who lives long on this earth

The fact that we can't pay no price to change the tables that turn

The idea that words we speak could be the last things we say

Taking for granted the light that peeked through my window today

But things have changed

I ain't the same

I see it now, wouldn't go back

Even if I figured out how

There may be some things I regret

Pain aches like a hard hit to the chest

Your love lives rent free in my head

As time passes I won't ever forget

What people deserve

Because of you

I'll give only love

Non-judgmental, unrehearsed

Genuine, real, reliable, raw love, my friend