Animal Friends Lyrics

All my animal friends

I hate to admit

That this is the end

That this is it

Not the meat, or the fat, or even the trim

The future is now, and the future looks grim

All the average Michaels caught in vicious cycles

They're all cyclical twerps

They're all circle jerks

Who never, ever smile, not so much as a smirk

We'll be four horsemen deep and they'll be showin' up to work

And sometimes it just doesn't go to plan

And you may feel inadequate, and less like a man

Because you bit into the gender role

'Cause little Debbie's in control

The snack cake tastes so bland

You're a patriot of this fine land

And Auntie Barbie, and Uncle Ken

Couldn't be more proud that you're an American

You're tall, attractive, plastic, and thin

You're the spittin' image of the two of them