11pm in Aoyama-Itchome Lyrics

Can't tell you the sacrifices I was about to make

To change myself to something you could digest

Trying to be something of your likeness

When all the fog has cleared

There's nothing else that I should stand to hear

Trying to stand on solid ground when I just want to duck my peers

Fear for the man that all this shit is trying to turn me to

Never been the one to fight for people that want me to choose

An option suitable that gives control in situations

I'm running out of patience

So fuck you and the pacing

How everything is being viewed as overreacting

Like how I'm iffy on your actions

And still you want that passion

And begging for commitment when I've seen through it all

How every thing that's built around you would fall

Who you gone call

Gave up searching for a soul that could resonate with my mental

It's clear there's still regret, I don't want them to hear those issues

The closest ones to me cannot fathom the thoughts I go through

If you asked me if I value them more than me I'd say it's true

Think this phase of my existence is one that I don't desire

Full of hate for everything and acknowledging that I'm tired

I am not the man I used to be

I can't spare you love or any sympathy

Don't explain your problems to me ever cause your life isn't mine

And I can't resonate with pain that ain't mine, or say it's fine

Optimism's what you make it, you ain't got it so what

And crying later ain't a sign that you tough, give that shit up

Things hurt you more than ever when you put the heart into it

When it starts to fall apart, the pain that comes is incongruent

Living proof cause I've had so much that I've wanted put in words

And every session on this phone just gave me shit you probably heard

Now, even now it's the same

But this is truly for myself knowing there's nothing to gain

Wasting my time, I've done too much of playing everyone's game

You got your own shit that you hide, my nigga we are the same

Look, still hear my name is in your circle

When word gets back to me, now I can't lie that shit is hurtful

Cause we don't throw your name around with hateful connotations

Still I wish you well, but know my heart is aching

I have moments where the worst is all I want for all my enemies

Holier than thou, that lie I've lived is contradicting

All the guilt continues weighing heavier than what it's ever been

Praying that I break, but I'm too durable and only bend

Finding slight relief in what can come when I stick to the pen

Questioning the choices of the ones I've been calling my friends

What lies on these paths if I bring all of this shit to an end

I'm still ahead of myself

Looking back had fucked me up cause this ain't better my health

Looking back is why I feel the way I feel bout myself

Tunnel vision, trying to focus on the things that I like

Want to be there for everyone, but it's life

Can't live it twice

Bottling just how I feel about events is too alarming

Every time I speak my mind, I'm so convinced that's it's too harmful

When did I begin to think of how somebody else could view me

I was managing it fine accepting comfort being lonely

Maybe I was hoping for change

How everyone has been igniting my flame

Can't stay the same

Still as dark as what I was when depression sustained my being

Colors make it worse for all of the backwards shit I've been seeing