dissonance Lyrics

I dunno where to go

I dunno where's home

Loving me seems like it's always a chore

Always a game until they get bored

I'm leaving my conscious out onto the floor

I feel sick to my stomach from butterflies that lay dying

My heart yearns for a type of love, a type of love that's worth trying

I wear my Heart on my sleeve and it begs me breathe

Lost my breath from these old memories

If I've ever loved you I probably I still do

Even if its covered in mildew

Years may come and go but the color is still true blue

I'd do anything for the ones that I love

And I put that on everything

Please don't ask me to destroy myself

Cause I won't stop at anything

Then there lies the question why can't I love myself

Is it because I dunno who I am

Cause i know I'm just a man

A man with many contradictions, some say I'm a walking one

A narcissist with a complex of martyrdom

I'm hyperbolic alcoholic who can't stand a hangover

A calm collected insane asylum who teases with disclosure

Bipolar and centered my gravity is ever-changing

I sway back and forth, while my mind is racing

I just need some sort of peace something to hold on to

A center to the storm of my minds monsoon

I dunno if I'm loveable, or even worth loving

I know I shouldn't say that but the thought keeps on bugging

Do you ever think you'll ever be loved for who you truly are?

Or will you have to hide your past tucked in still in plain sight like a scar

I guess this is it, a bite-sized piece of my consciousness

Something to define what's going on inside in my head

I think I should've left that unsaid

Every time I feel like opening up I shoot myself down

I could have a lifeguard nearby and still stay quiet while I drown

I try with music to make my feelings feel permanent

But every time I play it back it feels cluttered with dissonance