I Was A Tortured Soul, Now Look At Me Lyrics

From the beginning

From the beginning

I didn't even wanna see myself winning

I was a tortured soul

I was a tortured soul

I was a tortured soul

From the beginning

From the beginning

I didn't even wanna see myself winning

I was a tortured soul

I was a tortured soul

I was a tortured soul

I miss you everyday

I remember holding you in my arms

You said it was okay

I saw the light leave your face

You're in a better place

It's hard to believe that's true

When you were taken away from me

You said you're finally free

You said it's not cause of me

Can you repeat that?

Cause I don't believe that

It's not because of me, dad

I've been trying to scream that

He wasn't there to see that

You won't find the same person twice

Not even in the same person

It was too much pain to take

For her

She couldn't move

Forward

It was only a year since

More and more dirt

Scattered over the casket

Her sorrows they lasted

She lived in the past

And she put on a mask

All until she withered

But all she did was cause more hurt

Her son is the one

Who she really tortured

Who she really tortured

I tried for many months

To put the blame on me

I tried for many months

To put the shame on me

Guilt wasn't everything

But it really seemed to be

All I could feel during my time of grief

I couldn't feel so I'd pretend

Being numb was my best friend

I knew that I could ignore it

My mind was distorted

My time, not important

My life, not important

And then it hit

That

From the beginning

From the beginning

I didn't even wanna see myself winning

I was a tortured soul

I was a tortured soul

I was a tortured soul

From the beginning

From the beginning

I didn't even wanna see myself winning

I was a tortured soul

I was a tortured soul

I was a tortured soul

I miss you everyday

Shedding all your better days

But I told you that I'm tortured

It started with lonely praise

Met a lonely chick to cope with

It started a broken phase

Of abusive toxicity

You cut me three different ways

My mind, then my heart

Then my spirit

Probably should've listened

Probably should've seen it

In your gaze

But I let you treat me like this

Cause I built up all this hate

Towards yours truly

Sworn through thee

The notes duly

Before ruly

Poured through me

I'm amazed

That my parents let me think this

"I'm deserving of this hate"

'Fore you blame yourself

You've got to clean from

Beginning, the slate

As I wipe my tears

And face my fears

I'm cowardly disgrace

As I stand up, I'm a phantom

I'm existing cause a date

Where my mom decided for me

Where I met up with my fate

But got sick of this

I'm listening

I'm proud of her mistake

From the beginning

From the beginning

I didn't even wanna see myself winning

I was a tortured soul

I was a tortured soul

I was a tortured soul

From the beginning

From the beginning

I didn't even wanna see myself winning

I was a tortured soul

I was a tortured soul

I was a tortured soul

Huh

Now look at me

Now look at me

Now look at me

Now look at me

Check

Now look at me

I'm bred free

And deadly

Ain't afraid to ask the questions

To the soul that's heavy

Ain't afraid to look a mirror in the eye

And tell it that it won't repel me

Now look at me

I used to be misguided

Now I guide myself

Used to be too stifled

In a cycle to notice the spell

A recipe to melt

Used to punish my spirit when shit wasn't easy

It takes a village to fix oneself

Now look at me

I'm too ambitious

Now look at me

I'm too capricious

Now look at me

I used to hold wishes as enlightenment

And now I'm through the roof blissened

Now look at me

Now look at me

Now look at me

Now look at me

Now look at me

Now look at me

My only pride is when I'm proud

Of progress and that's all

You'll be afraid to touch the sky

If you're afraid to fall

Traumatized but idolize

Importance from afar

It's we unite

Or don't invite

We probably should talk

It's a suicide

If you and I

Don't share the lonely haul

Of a unified engagement

If we break up, then it's fall

As a fucking waste of time

It's time for curtain call

Bitch

I'm ready to go back

It's finally time

I did it

You did it

You crossed the final hurdle

You needed to so

You can become

Papilio