College of Pontiffs Lyrics

Yeah, I'm still working

Still waking up to find my real purpose

Still trying to figure out what it's gon' take

Still trying to find a real connection and not through right swipes

Back when I was young, I used to hope to be liked

Nowadays, I'm honestly hoping to elope with Christ

In and out my brittle mind, just trying to keep my mental right

Sometimes I think it's easier just to settle right?

But isn't there a better life?

So, I'm still staring at the ceiling in my bed at night

Thinking 'bout what I don't got yet

Do I have enough yet?

Thought you had a hold on your life but it's something you really don't yet?

Hmhmm , It's all a work in progress

That's what my therapist says, I respond with, "I guess"

I been wanting to get something off my chest

But it's not time yet, It might never be time

Will my kids forever be fine?

"I really hope" is what I'd like to think

'Cause my childhood was filled with tree climbs

And Oatmeal Creme Pies, and hearing Dan's freestyles

I guess that she's gon' be fine, or he will

I just feel like it's hard to be thrilled in times like this

When our hands can't keep still

A relationship nowadays can't prevail

But there's beauty in the details

So I'ma try my best to pay attention to 'em

Spend your days with this and it will get you through it

I ain't seen an institute since this past New Year

Used to hate it, now my dreams take place in it

Sunshine is through the blinds 'til I wake in it

Just got done stretching like a game seven finish

Now it's time to get something 'fore the day's ending

Yeah

I got, well wishes in my cellphone from my classmates that let themselves known

That they're with me through the unknown

I know we had a stretch of time between us

That you use to feel close to me, but It's been a minute since

Did I change or did you rob me of my innocence?

Inner city kids I grew up with, we had some differences

But through our experiences, it's almost like they didn't exist

Allowed you and I to coexist

Times ticking, and moms fifty

**** got you thinking, "I gotta start spending time different"

It's more precious, what if you took the same method at 21 and really learned from the lesson

Sometimes I feel like I'm tripping for her dipping out of town cause I thought this was sincerely real

Palms itching, but this love was not Benadryl

Ain't no pattern to the way I tend to feel

It's all over the place, I'mma lower the shades and sleep in

I talked to a fella who saw the Insta pic

He told me, "**** Josh, no one thought you'd go through this ****"

I can't relate, but see, I understand

Cause when they see me now, compared to back then, they're like, "who is this?"

Don't know if I changed but my feelings did

And I'm sorry for everything that I did

And I never would of thought that we would have ever split

When she hears this man, she'll just cringe

I guess I did change, without her was like a real hell

Sometimes I feel like I don't have any luck

So, I'm getting tore up like an ACL

Getting high before the sun rises

Trying to figure out why before my brain really derails

Playing breakup music through a JBL

My crib was non-vacant, I was smoking, getting wasted

Something was in the air, and I could taste it

After a breakup, I can't be on my own

Every day, I'd check for a text from her on my phone

I guess she didn't want to build like they do in Rome

In life, you gotta let go of control

Yeah, It gets more difficult to rap every day

Cause I feel it doesn't matter what or how I say it

Nothing is certain, except life sure ends

I try to keep that in mind but it's not working

You have so much to live for

And you are beautiful inside and out

And that you see that for yourself as well

Because if you've come this far, you can go further

You are so resilient, you are not brittle

You are not easily mendable

Your brain, your body, your mind, is so ******* strong