I Didn't Want To Lyrics

I was taught to hold my tongue and turn the other cheek

Cause blessing is bestowed upon the mild and the meek

So when that driver swerved and cut me off

And at first I wanna rage

I chose instead to smile and kindly wave

But I didn't want to

In college after classes he would like to drive around

A self-proclaiming prophet from the church in my small town

Thirty years or so my senior, he would groom and pry and lie

He even once tried to kiss me goodbye

But I didn't want to

I've always tried to be so good, to do what's right and what I should

And everyone around me did it better

The truth I hid so deep inside, I'm not so good

Cause I have lied to myself so many, many, many times

But I didn't want to

We were young, just little girls, upstairs in a room

There was a game she liked to play when it was just us two

She'd kiss me on the mouth and show me what real grown-ups do

For years we played this game that had no end

But I didn't want to

I've always tried to be so good, to do what's right and what I should

And everyone around me did it better

The truth I hid so deep inside, I'm not so good

Cause I have lied to myself so many, many, many times

But I didn't want to

Better late than never for the bittersweet surrender

When I finally learn to trust that little girl

Better late than never for the bittersweet surrender

When I finally trust my voice

Yes, I finally found my voice

I should have told you

I didn't want to

Oh, I didn't want to

I have this fear my heart is false

And none of me is good

That I'll never be accepted or even understood

But no longer will I sacrifice my heart to be polite

I think I'm finally giving up that fight

I've waited too damn long to get this right

But I didn't want to

I didn't want to