Candy Lyrics

There was a time

I thought I had completely lost it

I was sitting in my room

With a razor blade in my pocket

A shiny destructive object

I pushed it into my palm

And started cutting on my arm

Until the blood was dripping off him

Ok

Well, that's an issue

Scar tissue is stickin' with you

You can lie to your family

And tell them that it's just the misuse

Of a burner at work

But see, reality hurts

You can cover up depression

With a smile and a shirt

Cover up the fact there's

Not a smile in your eyes

With a brand-new pair of Ray Bans

A perfect disguise

Nobody has to know that

Every day you want to die

And you're so good at making plans

You plan the end of your life

So, I

Called my ex-fiancé on the phone that night

She said

I've been there, believe me

I'm no stranger to that life

How'd you do it? Did you at least

Sanitize that knife

I said

I'm sorry, I'm embarrassed, I can't handle this life

Baby, clean yourself up

No reason to be ashamed

I know your fucked up, it's ok

'Cause imma love you through the pain

And then I passed out in the bloody sheets

Staring at her face

I'm ok

I'm not ok

'Cause

I was drinking liquor

For like 4-5 days

Switch to benzos

For like 4-5 days

Well ok

Went to tramadol

I'm taking over 10 each day

Passin' out up on the couch

For like 3 whole days

I Went comatose

So, Lord Please pray

I got a problem but I'm functional

So, no one sees

Huh

I wasn't sober

In well over

Like a full decade

But don't worry

Imma still give you

Like a full cd

You're entertained

And I'm alone

So please don't rescue me

If you'd been through

What I've been through

You'd be dead guaranteed

I tried to numb myself with alcohol

And different medications

That's the thing about depression

It's a temporary savior

Think you built a happy house

Well, you just dug yourself a basement

And the only thing your numbing

Is the pain that you're not facin'

See it's quite the predicament

You can live in deliciousness

But what are you gonna do

When the candy store's out of business

There was a time

I thought I had completely lost it

I was sitting in my room

With these pills that I'm taking often

It started out as a hobby

But then it became a problem

'Cause I'm thinkin' Imma die

Before I detox off em'

I didn't know it was Fentanyl

Till' the night I almost died

But now I'm taking 5 a day

I only care bout getting high

And I ain't got no fuckin money

I'm betting on suicide

Hold up, hold up, hold up

I wanna read you

Something I wrote

Yo

It's my birthday, happy birthday

The same day that I am writing this

I'm all the fuck alone

'Cause I wanna fucking get high again

I only got a couple friends

And one of em's Vicodin

And I do not want to die

I just can't deal with this life I'm in

No messages in my phone

Think I'm destined to be alone

I'm depressed in a sea of ghosts

I don't know what to call my home

Well happy birthday, happy birthday

I'm sober, well it's a lie

Well happy birthday, happy birthday

Congratulations, I died

Jesus Christ

Ummm

Du, du, du, du, du

Well

There was a time

I thought I had completely lost it

I had taken 15 benzos

And I chased it with a bottle

Of whisky and teetertottered

Into my car and got drivin'

And I smashed it on the highway

Into a cement divider

Ummm

There was a time

I thought I had completely lost it

I was stealing medication

From my sister in the hospital

God Damnit

There was a time

I thought I had completely lost it

Then I finally got sober

I'm for real this time

I'm off it

The alcohol, the pills

The psychedelics and weed

Yo, I've been on a fucking bender

Since the age of 13

I got 1,000 extra chances

Some people don't get a second

I'm not immortal

I don't know why my clock is still tickin'

I don't know why I got a chance

To finish this record

Maybe I'm special

Or maybe it was the prayers

That I said and

All I know is I should be dead

And with my mom up in Heaven

Instead I'm

A fucking miracle

Thank you God for this blessing

To everyone along the way

I happened to hurt

You heard it here first

I am sorry and I'm lifting

The curse

I spent so many years

Numbing the shit that I felt

That I'm excited for the chance

To finally be myself