Old Songbooks Lyrics

I'm falling back on

Things i used to be

Insecure and certain

In all of the worst ways

And there is more distance

Than every before

Between me and

What i expect that

You expect of me

And these old songbooks

Speak of a history

Of a child learning how to love

And for so long the songs didn't resonate

I'm starting to resemble them again

Well i wasn't such a great person

But boi i could dream

In recent memory

I cannot place

Solace or composure

In any other's glance

And yet i failed to predict

How you would leave

Me without ambition

Or without memory

Of all these carols

You and i would sing

With a little

Hesi

Tay

Shun

Like all these snowflakes

That linger in the air

That just can't decide they want to be

Well i never was uncertain in that way

I can't imagine who could be

Well these songs never got me through

The troubles since i moved away from home

A compulsion like an illness that draws me in

A fine bespoke delusion of your soft skin

Never more than an arm's length away

Never having to wonder who will sing these carols with me

I'm falling back on

Things i used to be

Insecure and certain

In all of the right ways