Suppression Lyrics

I lost my way when I was 15

I met a girl I thought I loved but we had mixed dreams

It let me down when I found out that's all a kiss means

Taught me a lesson how far women go to get things

They only want but they don't keep things

She'd be in heaven she could borrow and just exchange

New hair today, new nails tomorrow then they switch teams

She tells me everything she needs but she don't need me

I guess that's what they mamas taught em

Mine showed me religion and to live the way I oughta

Take care of my brother and don't let nobody cross em

Try to save my money even though I'm into flossing

Just wish she warned me bout depression

Wish she told me how anxiety could lead to stressing

Even in the dark still find a way to count my blessings

Even though I'm healthy just can't help but feeling lesser

They wanna call it a disorder

Trusting therapy like they can get my life in order

How can you tell me you understand just by recording

How I know I'm not another patient and a quarter

That's what I get for overthinking

There I go again just analyzing without breathing

Stuck inside my thoughts so I'm just staring and not blinking

Every step I take it's like the floor just starts to sink in

I lost my mind when I was 18

Jumped off the porch into the streets she couldn't save me

You couldn't have the time of day unless you paid me

And even then I had to weigh how much it made me

It wasn't safe you think I'm crazy

They in and out cause they knew I had something they need

We get it in then get it gone right in the same week

And that would work till a year later had a baby

How the fuck I'ma be father

Can't understand women so how I'ma raise a daughter

Can't protect my heart so how she supposed to know I got her

Promise her the world even though I'm not with her mama

Just wish I had more I could show her

Wish that I had more experience on how to mold her

All that I can do is give her love and watch her grow up

Endure all the pain so she won't ever have to know it

I pray that I can give her better

Better than what I was given she won't have to settle

No I can't teach everything but hopefully she gets it

Love can be distracting makes your foot fall off the pedal

I just pray I can break the cycle

Cause I got a bad habit getting loved and then recycled

That feeling that you get when she walks in its like excitement

But it changes when she starts to never mind it