Deep End Lyrics

Good evening

Thank you for coming in today

In your file I see here you say you a few times

"I feel like I'm drowning in the deep end"

Yea most the time

Would you like to explain some of these feelings to me so I can get an idea on what's going on?

Take your time

I'm here to listen

It's a lot man

That's okay

Just let me know whenever you're ready you can talk to me

Know I'm afraid

Know that I'm trying to change

Not cuz I'm bad but I fight to keep positive every day that I wake

Know I've been tryna let go of mistakes

Know I been working on me with the little I got cuz I know that I'm meant to be great

Know through the pain I keep pushing I'm strong on the surface it don't mean I came out unscathed

Nobody knows the half of my life

But maybe thats where I should leave it

In a world full of people that only view men with emotion as signs of a weakness

I couldn't care less how you see me

I made it real clear in my previous releases

This is my story, this is what made me, and these are selfish reasons.

When I was little I looked at the world in a totally different view

I thought everybody was innocent

thought every word they would tell me is true

It made me look like a fool when defending the people I thought I could trust

But I guess it's a lesson to love with my gut, if love with my heart I'll fall in a rut

When I was six my father met a new woman with two other kids

He didn't know at the time he was gambling life with a hand that is fixed

He went all in and he gave all he could to a demon, a gold digging trick

In the kindest of ways I could it put the woman's a parasite sucking out life like a tick

The objective was driving a wedge and dividing a bond with a son and a father

With intention of taking that bond and to making it strong for her son and her daughter

And my father ain't dumb but a woman who lies with the pussy is bound to have power

And it's only a matter of time till the tyrannys over

the water runs sour

I never had friends that I got to grow up with

I was always the new kid

New state, new town, new school, new people

But always the same shit

So many times had to leave it behind without getting to say my goodbyes

If you question the reason I'm distant then hopefully now you can understand why

Well you're not wrong, that is a lot

And it is crucial to let those emotions out instead of keeping them tucked away

This is a safe place, for you to release them at

It seems like you've brought a lot of the past into your present, which can be really dangerous so let's continue

I don't know how talking about it will make it any better

Well this is a step in the right direction

The reason I'm writing these lyrics ain't even for sympathy

Hell it's a fraction of history

I don't enjoy writing books on my misery

But it still hits me me despite all my victories

Yea

When I was ten I was taken from all that I knew

But no matter the problems that stood in my way

I would conquer them all and my character grew

But it didn't prepare me for loving a woman with all of me still getting cheated

Not just a few almost all of em couldn't commit and the cycle was rinse and repeated

Perception of love became tainted

My trust is depleted by all the deceiving

Disturbing my peace I'm in need of relieving

And if I can't get it I promise I'm leaving

I don't got patience for no other woman

They've taken too much of my time

The last one I gave her the world

and she cheated a couple months later she died

The woman who made me

chose life in a bottle instead of her staying in mine

I guess I've been searching for love that I never received and potentially won't ever find

I've grown to replace all my sorrow with rage cuz it makes me feel better inside

Society will think I'm a pussy or maybe a monster depending on feelings I hide

View me however you want to, I don't care

You don't know what I've been through

Certainly you got some wounds I don't know about

And I don't pretend to

I think we made some really good progress today, and I hope that what you're dealing with is something you can conquer on your own very soon, or else it will make you miss out on the good parts in life

Find the positives

The door is right out the hall on your left

Take care of yourself alright

Thanks I'll see you next time